


The Blue Tooka

by Ookomix



Series: The Blue Tooka [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, I mean, Minor Character Death, Padme Needs A Hug, Padmé's not dead, that's the point, that's war, what if
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-10-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:02:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 29,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23330584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ookomix/pseuds/Ookomix
Summary: When the Empire rose from the ashes of the Republic and the Jedi Order, Padmé had no choice but to hide for her life, to protect her children from the Darkness of the Emperor and from her late husband hiding behind a mask. The Republic had lost the battle, but for Padmé they didn't lose the war.
Relationships: Leia Organa/Han Solo, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker (implied)
Series: The Blue Tooka [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1677766
Comments: 24
Kudos: 33





	1. Hello there my sweet lovely children

**Author's Note:**

> This is a canon divergence (duh!) where Padmé doesn't die of sadness on the operation table, and she kicks ass with the Rebellion and whatever happens happens.  
> Disclaimer! I own nothing, I'm merely borrowing a few characters to LucasFilms! (Duh!)

The droid silently skipped from the table to the door where Obi-Wan, Yoda and Bail were anxiously waiting. After two hours of hearing the cry of pain from labor, the screams, along with the memory of what happened only hours ago, Obi-Wan could only expect the worst.

“How is she?” he asked in a hushed tone.

“She is weak and exhausted, but she will be fine,” the medical droid replied with his usual phlegm. “Both infants are fine. If you want to come in, please be my guest.”

The Jedi immediately rushed to his friend’s bedside, and he looked at the two children with wonder in his eyes.

“Two of them. Who would have guessed?”

Obi-Wan jumped at the voice so near to him, and he turned around to face Bail. The senator had also entered the room, along with Yoda who was patiently waiting near Padmé.

“Yes, twins,” Obi-Wan eventually replied, his eyes going back to the babies. “I know you didn’t believe it, but  _ we  _ guessed it pretty early.”

“Jedi,” Bail chuckled. “I’m just relieved they are all right. All three of them.” He then patted Obi-Wan on the shoulder and joined Yoda.

The two kids were lovely, healthy despite their mother’s distress and the slight prematurity of their birth. They were also aware of their surroundings and strong and… full of light. With a relieved smile, Obi-Wan took the two infants with caution and brought them to Padmé, so she could see them. When he approached, Padmé shushed C3PO with a weak gesture of her hand, and she smiled.

“Are they alright?”

“They are. They’re beautiful.”

Despite the exhaustion and grief, Padmé beamed at the news and she reached for her children. “Luke,” she whispered as she held her baby boy with tenderness and tucked him against her chest. “Leia,” she said with awe when she then took her baby girl and soothed her near her brother. The children immediately snuggled against their mother, and Padmé weakly laughed, tears running down her cheeks. Bail put a comforting hand on her arm.

“How do you feel, Padmé?”

She sighed without looking up from her babies.

“Tired. Beaten and sore. And sad beyond measure. To be honest, I wanted to die when I woke up from… When I realized he…” She took a shaky breath. “I’m devastated, Bail. But I have to fight. For the galaxy, for my children… For Anakin.” Saying these last words she shot a glance at the men around her, daring them to contradict her. None of them did. “I love him so much… Just, give me time. I will be fine.”

Obi-Wan felt a smile coming back on his face. She was right, they had to fight. The worst had yet to come, but they were together and ready to face whatever horrible thing the Dark Side could throw at them. At least he hoped.

“Full of hope, you all are. Good. Relieving. But do  _ not  _ forget what the Dark Side is. Fully prepared we have to be. One step ahead. We are not, yet.”

Yoda then nodded to himself with a hum as Obi-Wan mentally chastised himself for thinking too happily for a moment.

“So… What do we do?” Bail asked.

“We have to disappear,” Padmé answered. Her voice was low and slow, but her eyes betrayed a fast train of thoughts. “The Jedi. Me. We have to disappear. If… Anakin… Finds out about Luke and Leia then… We can’t let that happen.”

“I agree,” Obi-Wan said. “Besides, he thinks you’re dead. If not he would already be here. We have to play along. At least until we’re strong enough to fight the Emperor.”

They all fell silent, lost in their own thoughts. And it was C3PO who interrupted the silence.

“But  _ where  _ on the galaxy can we hide?”

Obi-Wan rose an eyebrow, then he stared at the droid up and down.

“I think I might have an idea.”


	2. Under the suns of Tatooine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Padmé hides from her past, but can't outrun her destiny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This work is sort of un-beta-ed, so feel free to tell me if you find any life threatening mistake in this work!

“Luke? Luke!”

Padmé walked away from the house and to the border between the farm and the dangerous desert of Tatooine. Despite having lived here for so long, she couldn’t shake off her homesickness for the green hills of Naboo. Adjusting her hood, she squinted to look better at her surroundings. No sign of her son. At this point she just hoped he was with Obi-Wan, and not stuck in some sort of inventive trouble, _again_. Padmé sighed and went to the speeder. Owen was near it, trying to repair it. That was good news: Luke couldn’t have gotten far on his own without it.

“Something’s wrong?” Owen asked when he saw her, putting his tools down.

“Yes, I can’t find Luke, and I’m worried for him.”

“Oh,” Owen simply said. After a moment of silence, he shrugged. “I don’t think so. Old Ben is a little too overprotective with this one. He came by early this morning, but you were still sound asleep. The boy is surely with him. Why?”

“His sister is coming back from Alderaan. For two days. She will be at Mos Eisley incognito this evening.”

“Oh,” Owen repeated. Padmé just smiled at him.

That man was kind and understanding, but boy he was _not_ bright. And completely oblivious at what was going on.

Padmé suddenly felt restless near a man so simple and so occupied by his own little problems. The Empire was growing stronger every year. The Rebellion, which she was at the moment a passive part of, was weak and scattered around the galaxy. This had to change. She was glad Leia was coming. It would give Padmé the opportunity to speak to the twins at last.

Eventually nodding to Owen to leave as fast as she could, Padmé returned to the house were Beru was singing while cooking something. Padmé smiled at her and left her be too, as she closed the door to her own room. She tried to contact Obi-Wan.

If the Jedi had stayed for fifteen years unnoticed, playing the crazy old man in the desert, Padmé was still afraid of Anakin finding out about the deception. And every day brought its new amounts of fears.

She contacted him quickly and asked him to bring her boy back at once. Thought he didn’t immediately replied, she knew she could count on him, as she has done all those years.

Trying to calm herself, Padmé anxiously waited for her children to come home.

By the time Luke eventually arrived, closely followed by Ben, it was almost night. The princess greeted them with a frown on her face.

“You’re late,” she stated, “I contacted you hours ago. What were you thinking?”

“I’m sorry, Padmé,” Obi-Wan immediately said, interrupting Luke as the teen opened his mouth. “We didn’t see the time, we were outside. It won’t happen again.”

He was lying, that was obvious for everyone. But Padmé simply nodded and tried to ignore the too long stare the exiled Jedi gave her. She could only do it for so long. With a sigh, she turned towards her boy.

“Luke, your sister is on her way. Will you please wait for her?”

“Of course!” Luke chirped, his disappointment giving way to his joy. “She’ll be safe, don’t worry!” And just as he said that he disappeared through the door. Obi-wan sighed.

“They are growing up well. They’re almost adults now.”

This time Padmé gave her full attention to Obi-Wan.

“You want to say something. Say it.”

“Padmé, your children have the Force.” He suddenly got restless and agitated as she looked away with a gasp. “You’re not listening to me! They _need_ to be trained, they need… they are--”

“And what good did the Jedi training do to Anakin?” she blurted in anger. She then realized what she just said, and her eyes widened in front of Obi-Wan’s hurt expression. “I-I’m sorry, Obi-Wan, I didn’t mean to…”

“I know,” he replied with a sigh. “I know.”

“I am so _afraid_ for them, Obi-wan. I keep having these nightmares. I see him hurting them. I see… I see Luke and Leia turning like him.”

She shuddered and went to the window to make the most of little warm left from the two setting suns. Obi-Wan followed her, his stare still burning the back of her head.

“They won’t fall like Anakin did.”

“How can you be so sure? They have the Force. You said it yourself.”

“Because _we_ are still part of the Light, some of us never fell!”

His voice sounded like a challenge. Padmé looked at him. Considered him, her friend, for the first time in a couple of years. Their silent confrontation lasted until Obi-Wan turned his eyes to the door. He sighed again.

“They’re coming. Don’t make them worry. And… please, consider what I said. Think about it.”

“I will,” she whispered. And in her words echoed the truth.

At the same time the door opened to let two tornadoes invade the room. Young Leia Organa jumped at her mother’s neck in a tight embrace.

“Mother! It has been so long!”

“Oh, my baby, it’s true, I missed you so much! Is Bail with you, or did you travel alone?”

“All alone,” Leia proudly answered. “I’m fifteen, you know? I don’t need to be parented. You weren’t.”

“Different time, different place. Go kiss your uncle Obi-Wan and get some rest. Tomorrow morning I have to announce something important.” She stopped to think. “Speaking about important, you wouldn’t happen to carry a message for me, would you?”

Leia rummaged through her numerous pockets before giving a holomessage to her mother with a smile. She finally embraced Obi-Wan, then dragged Luke with her as she left the room.

“She is radiating,” Obi-Wan noticed. “It must be Alderaan. Are you okay, Padmé?”

“Someone else is raising my daughter, how do you think I feel? Come, let’s not waste time. Together they will be unruly.”

This time the Jedi chuckled when he followed her. The twins? Being misfits? _That_ he could believe.

After having spent a little time with Leia and Luke, Obi-Wan eventually left before dinner, promising he would be there the next day before noon. Embracing Padmé one last time, he begged her again to reconsider his offer. But Padmé didn’t answer. She simply asked him to stay safe, and he stormed out. The behavior didn’t go unnoticed by Leia.

“What was that?”

“Nothing,” Padmé lied, “He’ll be back tomorrow. Let’s go eat, okay?”

Without stopping staring at her mother, Leia sat down near an amused Beru. Luke looked at the staring contest between Leia and Padmé, and he eventually shot an apologetic look at his mother. He tried to lift the mood.

“Kriff, Leia, being in politics makes you paranoid!”

“She’s _not_ in politics,” Padmé warned. Leia ducked her head.

“Actually…”

“Oh, you know what? shush! I don’t want to hear about this, and I’m going to have a talk with Bail!”

“You sent her there, Padmé,” Owen simply said while filling the plates. “It was certain she would enter that world.”

Padmé sighed loudly as the twins burst into laughter.

In the morning Padmé got up early this time, to enjoy the sunrise and little peace she could have for a while. Leia was still asleep, but Luke was with Beru checking on one of the vaporators’ engines. Owen had left earlier to go into the city. Everything around her was silent. Sitting cross-legged on the roof of the house, Padmé sipped her tea. She didn’t bat an eyelid when Obi-Wan joined her. He struggled. Sometimes she forgot he wasn’t going any younger. It was difficult not to imagine him being immortal.

“Good morning, Obi-Wan. We are _very far_ from noon, you know?”

“Good morning, princess. I couldn’t sleep. I know you hadn’t either. Something big is on its way. Is it your doing?”

Padmé considered the question.

“Maybe? I’m leaving, Obi-Wan.”

He stayed silent for a few minutes. “May I ask why?”

“Have you seen Leia? Luke? My children don’t need me anymore. They’re grown-ups, now. Not- Not _adults_ , no. But grown-ups. And I feel like I don’t need to be the hidden, frightened mother the Empire made of me anymore.” She sipped her tea again. “I’m going to join the Rebellion as an active member while I still can.”

“Is this really reasonable? I mean… Are you sure?”

Padmé gave Obi-Wan her mug, and he shared her tea with concern in his eyes.

“Look at us,” Padmé finally said. “Two not-quite old relics, hiding in a _desert_ . We’re just like it: we’re nothing. We have been hiding for fifteen years.” She raised her hand to prevent him from contradicting her. “I know Yoda and you have been waiting for a sign of the Force, a message of some sort. And believe me when I say that I don’t blame you for that. Not at all. On the contrary, I want to thank you for everything you have done, everything you have _sacrificed_ for me. It’s time I fight as well.”

“There’s nothing I can do or say to make you change your mind?” Obi-Wan asked, a little on edge, “nothing?” He stared at her. “... I see. It's farewell, then?”

“Oh, don’t be like that,” Padmé scoffed. “First of all I’m not gone yet, and second thing, we’ll see each other soon and you know it. We’re family! You were a brother to Anakin. You’re my children’s Force-father! It’s not like you could get rid of me so easily.”

Obi-Wan frankly laughed and he embraced Padmé. she hugged him back with a sigh. “I’m not running away. I’m just trying to do the right thing.”

“I get it, I get it,” Obi-Wan laughed against her hair. “But, you know, even if you run to the other side of the galaxy I’ll be right here, and if you or Leia or Luke need anything, you just have to tell me. I will always be here.”

If the Jedi felt her emotion he didn’t say anything, and he simply let her bury her tears on his ragged mantle. After a few minutes, Padmé eventually got a hold of herself and regained her dignity.

“Okay. That’s better. You… I spoke with Beru and Owen, you’re invited to stay here for diner, and of course for the following conversation.”

“Oh, I’m glad to know I’m not out of the loop!” He mocked her, and he got punched in the shoulder. Then they both busted into laughter on the farm’s roof, waiting for the rest of the family to come back. Padmé enjoyed this as long as she could.

Leia eventually got up at noon, when Owen parked the speeder and Beru and Luke got back from the property. With her long hair freed on her shoulders she looked so much like Padmé, the older princess found herself staring at her daughter for a while, just to admire her work. When Leia caught her stare she winked, and they both giggled.

“You stayed in bed a long time,” Padmé remarked.

“I needed it. Bail always makes me get up early. I need my beauty sleep!” she joked while helping dress the table. “But, yeah, I guess I needed that. So? What was that you wanted to say to us?”

“Be patient,” Padmé simply said.

So Leia eventually fell silent and waited for everyone to join them around the table.

The Diner went smoothly, the weather wasn’t too brutal and Owen was entertaining everyone with a story of what happened in the morning at Mos Eisley.

“... And I _swear_ , this rhodian was clearly lost! He looked at the Wookie with a surprised expression and he said, ‘What do you mean this isn’t the Niima outpost?’ He went on an explanation, that he was expected at ‘Jakku’ or someplace like that. I mean… where is this planet?”

Obi-Wan laughed aloud, and Luke looked just baffled.

“Where’s that, Jakku?”

“That’s a nowhere planet,” Padmé said between giggles. “He may be lost, but at least he’s not on Jakku, so that’s a good thing for him!”

“Don’t talk badly about lost planets,” Obi-Wan scolded her jokingly. “That’s where true heroes hide!”

“Oh, so Tatooine’s not so lost after all!” Leia exclaimed.

They all laughed again, and Padmé slapped her on the wrist.

When they arrived at the dessert, Padmé decided it was time to talk. So she did. She cleared her throat.

“I’ve been thinking about our situation, recently. About our place in… all this,” she gestured at her surroundings, as if she was talking about the whole galaxy, “and I’ve made up my mind. I will join the Rebellion as an active member while I still can.”

Luke choked. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Luke, you’ve grown-up to be so independent. You keep telling me you don’t need me doing ‘mother hen’ anymore. You both told me so. And I realized, you were right. Now don’t make that face, I’m not disappearing into thin air. I’m still here, and I’m still your mother. But I can’t keep _hiding_ and smothering you while the galaxy falls apart. So I’m joining Bail and Mon in the fight.”

“Are you sure about that?” Beru said with a concerned tone.

“I am. I’m grateful for what you’ve done. But it’s time I pay my debt. I will join the Rebellion.”

“Does that mean we will see each other more often?” Leia asked, clearly delighted with the idea.

“I hope so! The three of us, together!”

“I don’t…” Luke started, “I can’t… I don’t think I’ll follow you.”

Padmé stayed silent a moment. “...what?”

Without any explanation, Luke got up from his chair and fled the room. Before Obi-Wan could run after him, Padmé gestured at them to sit.

“I understand. Give him a minute, I will talk to him. Owen? If he doesn’t… well, if he wants to…”

“My house is the Skywalker house, Padmé, don’t worry about that,” Owen reassured her. She smiled at him.

“What’s wrong with him?” Leia asked, incredulous.

“Your brother only knows Tatooine, Leia. You two have experienced life differently.”

Truth to be told, Padmé didn’t exactly know what Luke had. The boy had been so eager to leave their hidden spot, to go on an adventure. He was _so_ bitter that Leia got to stay with Bail… Eventually Padmé decided Luke had enough time to clear his mind, and she went to see him. She knocked gently on the door and waited for her son to open. He did.

“Hi,” she said with a smile, “can I?”

Luke nodded and let her enter his room. She sat on the chair while he settled on the bed. Now he seemed more embarrassed.

“I didn’t mean to be disrespectful to everyone.”

“I know, baby,” Padmé comforted him. “Do you want to talk about it?” He shrugged, so she insisted. “I thought you wanted to leave this place.”

“I do!” he said with vehemence, “I do but… I don’t want to _run_ . Mother, you said everyone thinks you are dead. That means if… We’re going to live in the shadows? Again? But instead of laying low _here_ , as farmers so we can be under the sun, we’re going to be a Royal Family in exile. I’m not made for that. I’m sorry. I want to be a pilot, like my father was. I can’t do like you or Leia. I mean, play in the shadows, with political matters? I… don’t get me wrong. I _admire_ Leia. I feel like I’m just fifteen, and she’s so ahead of me. You both are.”

Padmé looked at her boy with fondness. So young yet so lucid. She envied him, she herself destroyed her childhood for the sake of politics, and she was bitterly regretting it. Luke, on the other hand, was still a child at heart. And she couldn’t deprive him of that. She teased him anyway.

“So you don’t want to be with us?”

“Of course I do! But I want to be a pilot! Or a Jedi knight!”

“Let’s keep to pilot,” Padmé blurted out a bit too fast, “Pilot is good. So you stay with Owen and Obi-Wan here, on Tatooine?”

“Just until I’m old enough to learn how to be a pilot without looking suspiciously too young,” Luke smiled, “and then I’ll join the fight as well. Just… Not in the shadows.”

Padmé gestured at her son to come closer, and she put a kiss on his forehead as she hugged him. He smiled wider, relieved.

“I’m not made to play the _Game_ , or to plot in secret.”

“Oh, I can see that!” _You look so much like you father_ , she thought, but she didn’t dare say it aloud. “Owen said you could stay, and Obi-wan is here to watch over you.”

“I’m not a baby, I can watch over myself.”

“I’m sure you can. But humor your old mother, okay?”

“I love you,” Luke said with warmth.

Padmé hugged him again.

When she arrived in the kitchen, Luke had stayed behind. She walked into a heated conversation between Obi-Wan and Leia, about military decision, and she cleared her throat to gain the others’ attention.

“Oh, hi Padmé!” Obi-Wan exclaimed with a suspicious innocence.

“Don’t transform my daughter into a war lord yet,” she settled near them. “Luke stays here. Politic gives him the creeps, and he wants to be the best pilot in the galaxy.” Despite herself, Padmé giggled at Leia’s hurt expression. “Don’t be like that, he said he _admires_ you. Even if you can’t understand, well, Luke intends on joining the Rebellion once he’s old enough to blend in the army. So it’s, what, three years?”

“That’s a lot,” Leia sighed. “But if he wants to stay and hide, good for him.”

Leia pouted the whole day, and she was still bitter when came the time to depart. That didn’t falter Luke’s resolution. He kissed his reluctant sister on the cheek and hugged his mother as tight as he could. Padmé hugged him back and went aboard the ship that would free her from Tatooine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The beginning of the adventure! Don't hesitate to comment, I read and reply to all of your reactions!  
> See you next chapter!


	3. I have waited too long, my dear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Padmé goes to meet the Rebellion against the Empire.

Alderaan’s palace was as beautiful as she remembered. She looked around as she walked at a slow pace through the large garden. Along the mazes of flowers and bushes were running streams of clear water in which fish of all sizes and colors were swimming peacefully. It reminded Padmé of her own home, far from there on Naboo. A planet she would probably never visit again. With a sigh, she sat on one of the benches in the shadows of a large and blossoming tree, and she patiently waited for Leia to discreetly announce her arrival to Bail. Padmé was anxious to see her old friend again, and she couldn’t stop making sure her hair was spot-on. These years on Tatooine certainly didn’t help her maintain a good look, as it hadn’t been her priority. But now she felt out of place and embarrassed to be surrounded by riches and nobility. Embarrassed, the princess got up to leave, but before she could make a single move Bail’s voice resounded near her.

“I am so delighted to see you!” Forgetting the customs, Bail embraced Padmé with strength and he laughed. Behind him was Leia, looking at them with a smile.

“Hello, Bail!” Padmé greeted him. “It’s been too long.”

“A decade, my dear. I trust your trip went well?”

“Oh, I felt sick all the way! I’m out of practice, I think,” Padmé laughed. They started wandering in the gardens. “With both my children grown-up and in good hands, I’m ready to do my part.”

“I understood that. Leia is so happy that you’re here. If I may ask, how did you bypass the checkpoint at the spaceport?”

Padmé’s eyes lit up with malice. “I’m a musician, I came here to ask you if your *daughter* needs lessons. you know, every princess should know an instrument.”

“That is so cheesy!” Bailed burst into laughter, quickly followed by Leia.

Padmé graced them with that, a smile on her lips. When they arrived at a more private part of the gardens, Leia excused herself to leave them at peace, and Bail sighed.

“you must be both proud of her and angry at me.”

“You’re right. But I shouldn’t have expected anything else. And Leia is happy with all this, so who am I to suddenly destroy everything? We agreed, years ago, that she would be known under the name  _ Organa _ . And politic goes with it.”

Bail nodded understandingly. they sat under a tree, and Padmé talked again.

“I want to help the Rebellion. I’m going to help expand your intel, and to relieve you from the burden of having to be both hidden in the Rebellion  _ and  _ in plain sight in the Senate at the same time. I’m going to do the shadowy part.”

“... You’re a scoundrel, you know that?”

“Damn right I am,” Padmé filled up her chest before laughing.

“Well, you are very welcome to do so, then. Force knows we need someone to expand the Rebellion. You’re free to go wherever you want, the Rebellion is yours as much as it’s ours.” He stayed silent for a moment. “But, you know, if… I mean… There’s a chance that if you and your children join the Rebellion, then he will… maybe you will find yourself facing him.”

Padmé considered this for a moment.

“What choice do I have? I can’t hide from him forever. Besides, I  _ know  _ Anakin is still out there. And I’m going to do everything to get him back. Even if I have to kill the Emperor myself.”

Bail seemed to really think about what she just said.

“Do they know? Luke and Leia, do they know about him?”

Padmé scoffed and shook her head. “Of course not. How am I supposed to say that? They…” she looked around, distressed. “Bail, they have the Force. They  _ have  _ it, and I can’t even find the courage to tell them, they don’t even know their father had been a  _ Jedi Knight _ ! And I am so afraid, I… I forbade Obi-Wan to tell them. I can’t let anyone know about their lineage, their legacy, or they will be  _ targets _ .”

The senator put a reassuring hand on Padmé’s arm.

“Don’t worry. It’s going to be alright for them.” He then cleared his throat. “I… I’ve made a recording. For both of your children.”

“You  _ what _ ?!”

“Don’t yell! Listen, The Empire is more powerful each year. The rebellion loses ground and… Well, in case we don’t make it, at least they won’t be in the dark all their lives. Don’t worry,” he repeated, “they’ll understand why you kept silent this whole time. I can’t imagine what would happen if the Emperor discovers Darth Vader has a living offspring.”

Padmé silently nodded. She could understand what drove Bail to do that. They lived in fear for so long… All they had left was hope, and an immeasurable love for their children. She got up.

“Thank you,” she said, “for having told me as soon as you could. But keep it a secret. We’re not dead yet.”

Bail smiled. “That’s the princess I know. Come on, let me introduce you to the Rebellion.”

Padmé entered the cruise ship in silence, admiring the Alderaanian craftworks on the luxurious ship. Hidden in plain sight, it was so  _ Bail  _ to keep all of his intel on the resistance on a heavily guarded safe inside a gigantic spaceship.

“What do you think?” Bail asked with a proud smile.

“It’s fancy. Cozy and protected. Does anyone think about this place?”

“Oh, some must have suspicions. But they can’t possibly demand a search of a senator’s personal cruise ship without a  _ very  _ good reason, or else they would raise concern.”

“Right.”

“It’s temporary, though. We’re thinking about settling elsewhere, some little planet or satellite no one will think about.”

“What about Jakku?”

“We’re not  _ that  _ desperate. Mon was thinking about Yavin IV.”

Padmé agreed. That was a good idea. She visited the luxurious ship and accepted the drink Bail offered her. She then got a tablet with a list of names.

“Here’s the Rebellion. Not a lot of renowned names, but we don’t need a lot of eyes in the Imperial Senate. And fortunately there’s a lot of soldiers and civilians who joined us. All heroes ready to give their lives to our cause.”

“Did you have a lot of incidents?”

“So far we’re losing more ground that men. But… yes. Casualties.”

“don’t blame yourself, Bail,” Padmé sighed, putting the tablet on the table. “War is ugly.”

Padmé kept only the names of the officers she would work with. Bail, Mon, Ackbar, a few others. Then she accepted Bail’s proposition to eat with his family. It would do her good. The walk back to the palace was silent and comfortable.

Padmé spent an entire week at the Organa’s palace before she could meet the officers of the Rebellion. And even at that moment there was a lot of people absent from the meeting. Everything was so slow…

Padmé decided things needed to change.

When the guests were all seated Padmé beat Bail in speed and she rose from her chair.

“Though most of you are strangers to me, Bail spoke highly of you, so I’m not waiting any less of you but being here to discuss what is most precious to us: The Galaxy.”

“Princess Amidala?!” A Nautolan senator suddenly said, looking baffled.

“... Yes.” She did not expect that. After fifteen years? “I didn’t mean to hide that,” she said louder to be heard above the whispers that had risen in the room. “I just didn’t expect someone to recognize me. But that’s true. My name is Padmé, I  _ was  _ the princess and senator Amidala. Now, I’d rather have people think I’m still dead.” People nodded understandingly. “Thank you. Now, as I was saying, we all care for the Galaxy. And it’s been trapped in the hands of  _ evil  _ for more than a decade. Please excuse me if I sound rude but… a whole week to gather, what, twenty people? Four senators among us, when I read in the reports that twenty-two were loyal to the Rebellion?”

“What she’s trying to say,” Bail interrupted her while standing as well, “is that we may need to be more… active in our Rebellion. That stolen intel and shadowy meetings won’t do anymore.”

“And what do you have in mind that doesn’t include dozens of dead people?” An unsettling but somewhat beautiful half-Twi’lek asked with an eyebrow raised.

“I say we start from the Outer-Rim. We need more than two hidden bases. We need fifty. Some passive, here to mend our wound after the  _ war _ ,” she insisted on the word, “and other way more war-like. We bring the fight and free more abandoned planets, we help as much civilians as we can. We need to become what we fear the most. We need to become terrorists against the Empire, even if you don’t like that. We have to make the Emperor remember he’s not untouchable.”

Her statement was followed by a lot of commotion, some disagreeing, some agreeing with her. Bail solemnly nodded behind her. Seeing this, Padmé understood while Bail had told her that they needed more people like her for the Rebellion; though they all had their hearts in the right place, a lot of them lacked the war-like frenzy that had inhabited the active heroes of the Clone War. Padmé needed to bring back the fire of the battle in their hearts.

“Now, I haven’t been in touch with the Senate for a long time,” she said with a smile, provoking chuckles in the assembly, “But I will get to that. I will catch up with every new law and new person in the senate.”

“She will be your main contact from the HQs, along with Mon Mothma. It will be both easier and safer for everyone. But remember: Padmé’s name  _ must  _ be kept out of record.”

“So she needs a codename,” a shy Sullustan said, but it sounded more like a question. Other people agreed with him.

Padmé leaned towards Bail, so she could be heard by him only, as the other members of the assembly were chatting.

“Can I choose my nickname?”

“I can’t see why not.”

“Great. I want to be a tooka.”

Bail blinked. “What?”

Before the senator could say anything, Padmé straightened and cleared her throat.

“Very well, I agree with your idea. From now on you will refer to me as the Blue Tooka.” She congratulated herself for having kept a straight face while saying that. Everybody graced her with her choice with a barely contained smile. But, Force, Padmé couldn’t let the opportunity pass, she loved those damned cats.

“Well,” Bail said in a strangled voice, “We’ll take this into consideration. And please, even if it’s between rebels, do  _ not  _ spread out her real name, or our resistance will be done for.” He didn’t explain further, and for that Padmé was grateful.

“You can count on us, Senator,” a young human girl almost shouted.

“Thank you,” Padmé said. “Now, about those new bases…”

Eventually Padmé left the meeting satisfied. A large number of potential hiding spots had been proposed along with a few secure routes. And eventually the meeting had given in; they would accept more drastic measures against the Empire.  _ Finally  _ Padmé was back in action. She couldn’t be more relieved. Well, she could be. But that wasn’t going to happen, so she simply decided to be happy with what she had: A working rebellion against the Empire. She was saddened Mon wasn’t at the meeting, but her friend was in exile and laying low as well. So it was Padmé who had to take the road to see Mon. She offered to bring the reports of the meeting to Mon Mothma, and though Leia wasn’t thrilled, Bail accepted. And before midnight the same day she was in an unmarked spaceship, taking the road to Mon’s hiding place, a city in a neutral planet of the Expansion region. For now the rebellion wasn’t particularly active, but Padmé had no doubt Mon was working on a way to disintegrate the Empire. She was, after all, the true leader of the rebellion. All she needed was a push up. And after that, there would be no place where they would be safe, but it would need only a couple of years to destroy the Emperor.

Padmé lost her gaze on the lightspeed effect seen through the window. She was still working on the report, but she was tired of writing at every and each paragraph and idea “be wary of Darth Vader”. Like every too often, her mind wandered to Anakin. The love of her life, even at that day. Was he still himself? Was he even… alive under that mask? Obi-Wan told her that Anakin fell too close to the lava while fighting, and that he had caught on fire. He should have been dead, somehow he survived. Maybe he hadn’t, and something else was under Vader’s mask. Padmé wanted to believe that so hard, but that was unlikely. With a heavy sigh, she looked down at the tablet on her lap, and she started typing again. The sooner the rebellion could be ready, the better.

When the ship arrived at the spaceport, Padmé hid everything and put her hood on her face. Thanks to the heavy makeup she was using for public apparition when she was a senator, and the fifteen years that had punched her in the face, Padmé was barely recognizable, and she could enjoy complete anonymity while travelling. Her new ID unquestioned, she entered the city and looked for Mon.

She found her seated in the inner courtyard of a mansion, and despite her age and tiredness she was just as beautiful as Padmé remembered her. She cleared her throat to make herself seen, and when Mon raised her eyes from her data pad she smiled widely.

“Oh, my dear! Look at you, you’re beautiful! How are you? What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see you,” Padmé replied sitting near her friend. “I’m bringing you the report from the last meeting, as well as my full support to your cause. You better read that, it will please you.”

Glancing at her, Mon took the tablet and started reading. Just as Padmé guessed, Mon’s eyes lit up and her smile grew wider.

“Is this for real?”

“It is.”

“How did you manage that? I’ve been trying to make them come with ideas for two years.”

“Well, I’m stubborn and careless.” Padmé sighed. “Mon, I get that you want to lay low and  _ not  _ start another war, we lost so much. But it’s been fifteen years already. We can’t wait much longer, your rebellion needs to become more aggressive, the patches of freedom you create here and there are not enough anymore. You’re losing more ground than you can possibly win.”

The glare Mon gave her made Padmé think twice about her choice of words. But she stood on her grounds and hoped that the senator in exile wasn’t angry enough with her methods to throw her out. When Mon talked, Padmé allowed herself to breathe.

“What do you suggest, then?”

“I suggest an attack. One that will tell the entire galaxy that we exist. It will be like a warning.”

“It’s reckless. It’s dangerous for every rebel.”

“If you don’t really rebel, then there’s no rebellion.”

Mon pursed her lips. For a moment she seemed to be thinking about a horrible dilemma. She eventually gave in.

“Give us a month. To settle at least five more bases. And then we’ll follow your plan. And he better be well prepared and successful, or else…”

“No threats, my friend. We won’t fail,” Padmé promised.

Mon stared at her for a few seconds more before sighing. She got up and invited Padmé to follow her to one of the rooms of the mansion. She then unfolded a map of the galaxy. The thing was big and not dematerialized, and Padmé looked at the notes and scribbles written on it by hand. Un-hackable. Mon was full of surprises.

“Alright,” the ex-senator said, “As you know, I have Yavin IV in my line of sight to create a base. It’s not far enough from the core worlds to be cut out, yet it’s far enough for people not to bother us. And the people who were on it have either migrated or disappeared. It’s in ruins.”

“So, it’s inhabitable… but abandoned? What’s the catch?”

“No real military benefit, useless for the Empire. We’ll be at peace on this planet. What about your planets?”

“I thought about Hoth, but it’s really hostile, so it would be for the last resort.”

“Mh… Why not. The other ones?”

Padmé leaned over the map and looked closely to check the systems. Mon imitated her.

When Padmé came back to Alderaan, her daughter was waiting for her in the spaceport, and Leia barely contained herself until they were out of sight. Once they were in the private vehicle, Leia embraced Padmé.

“It’s been too long, I was worried! I thought you were just visiting Mothma, not staying  _ a month  _ with her.”

“It was worth it, though,” Padmé simply said. “In a few days it will be the beginning of the true rebellion against the Emperor.”

“Oh, mother, what have you done?”

Padmé pinned her daughter in place with an icy stare. “What had to be done.” She kept silent the whole trip.

The fact was, she was also scared of her own plans, but couldn’t back away as that was the future of the galaxy that was at hand. Leia couldn’t understand, yet, for she was still naive and too scared of the fight. That would change really fast, Padmé was sad about that but that would also permit her daughter to survive the years to come.

Leia grew ill-at-ease, but Padmé couldn’t comfort her, not yet.

Two days later an important weapon factory exploded under the assaults of X-Wings, and at the same time a databank of Imperial datas got attacked, striking fear in the Imperial Senate. And the Emperor himself didn’t wait much longer to reply to these attacks. From Alderaan, Padmé watched Palpatine’s speech, standing motionless as the Rebellion was dragged in the mud. Terrorists, savages, anarchists, murderers, thieves. The list of insults was without an end. Bail nervously shuffled.

“And now?”

For the first time in days Padmé grinned. Everything worked according to her plans.

“Now we have the spotlight on us. We wait for Mon’s answer. A real, genuine, legitimate declaration of rebellion.”

Before the end of the day, the galactic network became flooded with Mon Mothma’s Declaration of Rebellion, a viral spam on every planet that had access to the network.

The war had begun.


	4. I have 99 problems and you are one of them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hidden by her new persona, the Blue Tooka, Padmé watched as the war evolved faster than she could have anticipated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't remember if it has been beta-ed or not... My bad.   
> Non english writer here, but enjoy anyway!

Padmé looked at Obi-Wan’s message again, chewing her nail in annoyance. That couldn’t be.

“I have dire news,” the recording said again with a solemn voice, “I checked numerous times, and Luke’s been registered as a  _ Skywalker _ from Owen’s side, as a member of Schmi’s family. Unless we make him a set of false ID he can’t join the army without a chance of his name being recognized. Vader will know.” A too long silence stretched in the room as the message took a pause. “Tatooine is a small place. I will have to smuggle him out of this place. But we have to wait. And after that, as long as he doesn’t cross path with Vader directly he should be fine.”

Padmé… never registered Luke under the name  _ Skywalker _ . She was sure of that. So who did this? Owen?  _ Obi-Wan _ ? And now Luke was eighteen of age and couldn’t come with her without putting them both in danger.

The concern in Obi-Wan voice also meant he was worried about having been caught, and that maybe they were under surveillance. But she couldn’t tell, and that only unnerved her more. She couldn’t leave Alderaan for Tatooine right this moment because that would be too obvious. And now she was also afraid for Owen and Beru’s life. And Luke was trapped on Tatooine. Was Padmé ready to force her son into a life in the shadows despite the very fact that Luke asked her not to? The recording started talking again, and Padmé jumped and caught the sentence mid-track.

“... you thought about my proposition? I would really like you to. I think it’s important for all of us.”

“What if it’s a trick?” Leia’s voice suddenly resounded behind Padmé who started in surprise.

“A trick? From who?  _ Obi-Wan _ ?” Padmé scoffed.

“Why not? And what if this is Obi-wan lying or undermining him so Luke would stay with him? So he can teach him what he knows?”

This time Padmé turned toward her daughter, very stiff. Did she know?

“... What are you talking about?” She tried to sound detached.

“You think I’m naive? Obi-Wan really likes Luke, maybe he sees our father through him? He’s probably trying to teach him how to be a hero or something like that.”

Padmé took a moment to breathe. Leia didn’t know about them having the Force. But it was only a matter of time, Padmé could see it: Leia was growing sharp and intuitive, cunning and hard to lie to. Padmé had to find a solution about her children being Jedi material, and  _ fast _ . Faster than Vader.

“You think very little of your uncle, Leia,” she scolded her gently. “Though he’s resourceful and following a path only he knows, he doesn’t want any harm to us.”

“I never said that,” Leia replied. “I’m simply reminding you that Obi-Wan is attached to Luke. We’ve passed our eighteen birthday. Luke is supposed to join our ranks, to be with us. And Obi-Wan doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want to stand up and fight, and he doesn’t want to leave Luke. So Luke is stuck.”

“So you’re saying he’s lying.”

“I’m saying he’s hiding the truth  _ and  _ the real problem.”

“Obi-Wan follows the ways of the Force, my dear. He has access to things we don’t.” Padmé’s tone became harsh, and she closed the message. “Don’t be too hard with him.”

Leia simply bowed, the shadow of a pout on her face. They left the room side by side and got immediately joined by C3-PO running toward them.

“Oh! I have dire news!”

“Great,” Padmé groaned, “I didn’t have enough.”

“Tell us quickly!” Leia demanded to cut through 3PO’s panic.

“The Rebellion has found intel about the mysterious secret weapon of the Empire! And though it is not ready, it is capable of great destruction!”

Padmé and Leia exchanged a glance and rushed to Bail’s office.

Bail was standing near a window of his office with R2-D2, a data pad between his hands. And he was so lost in his thoughts he barely reacted to Padmé and Leia’s entrance. They stood motionless for a while before Bail eventually seemed to come back to life. He sighed.

‘It’s a… It’s a mega weapon. A gigantic machinery of destruction. Some say it’s capable of destroying planets. It should be ready to be launched in a year at most.”

As Leia stood near the door with a hand in front of her mouth, Padmé ran to Bail to grab the data pad from his hands. She read the intel. And she read it again and again.

“Who’s Galen Erso?”

“An Imperial engineer. One of the best. He went missing some years ago. He tried to contact Mon several times, but they never reached each other. Last thing we knew his wife was dead and his daughter and himself were missing. We’re not sure he’s loyal to the Empire’s cause, maybe they’re keeping him as a prisoner? We don’t know yet.”

“Alright,” Padmé said after a while, “So our new first priority is to stop that thing at all cost. I’m going to warn our scouts, I need an unmatched shuttle I can pilot myself.”

“Where are you going?” Leia approached the desk.

“Yavin IV. Leia, I need you here--no, I need you on Coruscant. You must gather some intel, ask Sauli for help, he’s a Nautolan senator loyal to our cause. While you’re at it, try to make some shadow to Bail. I think we will need him fully for the Rebellion. You have carte blanche to make that happen. 3PO, R2, I trust you with my daughter. Fail me and I will make sure to stick you both in the same room for  _ months _ with nothing else to do than talk to each other.” A gasp and two beeps, she knew the message had been understood. “Any question? Anyone? Good. Then to each their post. Let’s show the Empire what the Rebellion is made of. Bail, I will be back in a few weeks.”

Padmé then kissed her daughter and prepared herself for the departure. She wanted to go to Tatooine so badly, to confront Obi-Wan about the message, but with the new threat it was impossible. She told herself she would find time to see her oldest and best friend after all was set and taken care of. Until then…

Yavin IV was busy with activity, swarming with pilots and engineers of all species and origins. Hidden behind the mask of a blue tooka Padmé responded to all the salutes she was greeted with, and she arrived to Mothma with a cramp in her right arm.

“Padmé! I’m glad you’re here. Take a look at that, that’s the financial means injected in the Emperor’s new project. It’s still unknown to the people, though.”

“Why not spread the news?” Padmé asked, shuffling through the numerous reports.

“That could help us undermine the Empire,” Mon said, “Or that could spread fear in the heart of the majority and leave us with an uncontrollable panic. It would also compromise the spies who risk their lives to give us such intel. Worse, the Emperor could accuse us of propaganda _ again _ and we would lose little approval we managed to earn in the Senate.”

“I see... So it’s up to us to take care of this threat without alerting the people ourselves. How’s it called? This project?”

“It’s the  _ Death Star _ .”

Padmé stayed silent for a few minutes. “Well it’s not going to be hard to convince people that it’s  _ not  _ a good thing.”

“It’s fearsome. The Empire is working through fear. That fits. Do you have any news about the remaining Jedi?”

The question was as sudden as unexpected. It took some time for Padmé to process. Mon patiently waited near her.

“It’s… not the time yet. They don’t… Don’t blame them, Mon. They lost their entire order at the hand of their own army. There’s no  _ Jedi  _ anymore, just a bunch of hidden Force-Users waiting for the right time, for a sign. And I don’t even know where Master Yoda is. I haven’t heard from him since day one.”

“I don’t blame them,” Mon sighed. “I just… We need as much help as possible, and a Force-User seems like something we could use right now. We’re losing  _ planets _ . We’re about to lose millions and millions of lives.”

“We’re not,” Padmé tried to convince her as much as herself. “Victory has yet to come, but we are  _ not  _ losing. We’re doing great.”

Eventually, Mon nodded with the ghost of a smile, and they got back to try to find a way to stop the  _ Death Star _ in a lighter mood. It wasn’t easy, of all the people working in the project only Galen Erso was known for having tried to flee the Empire, and the rebellion couldn’t sneak people onboard.

“... Erso had a daughter, right?”

“She went missing. We supposed his family got attacked when the Empire decided to put pressure on Erso.”

“So that’s the key. Erso is the key. Maybe he’s trying to reach out to the Rebellion. I want every scout on this. Not on the intuition, on the project. About my supposition…” Without finishing her sentence, Padmé left the room and a confused Mon Mothma to wander in the corridors and in the base itself. She stopped a soldier followed by a tall reformed droid.

“You there!”

“Me?” The soldier asked, unsure. He stopped. “Yes, ma’am?”

“What’s your name?”

“I’m Cassian. Cassian Andor, ma’am.”

“Listen to me, Cassian, because I’m about to trust you with an important mission. The most important the Rebellion ever had…”

Once Cassian left the planet, Padmé allowed herself a moment to think before starting to search for other means to get in touch with Erso, in case this one could work. She settled in one of the private quarters of Yavin IV, quickly joined by Mon and Ackbar. She greeted them with a smile.

“Are you really sure about that?” The Mon Calamari asked. He was as cautious as she wasn’t.

“No but I don’t intend on sitting on my butt until the worst happens. At least, with that I know I tried my best.” She sighed after a moment of silence. “You think it’s a bad idea?”

“I don’t think so,” Mon replied, really thinking about her answer. “It’s daring, but it’s worth a shot. We’ll keep a close eye on this.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank us yet,” Ackbar added with a low tone. “We’ve got a message. You’re asked by codename.”

Padmé raised an eyebrow. No one asked for the Blue Tooka in months. The last time it was a trap, and the one before it had been a disaster. But she was curious. She leaned a little.

“About what?”

“I don’t know. They talked about some top priority mission. And that not everyone could be trusted with it. Then they asked for you.”

“For the Blue Tooka,” Padmé emphasized. Ackbar nodded. “Alright, I’m going to take a look at that. Do you have any data on the mission? A day, a coordinate, maybe?”

“You really want that mission?” Mon asked, incredulous. “For all we know this could be dangerous.”

“This could be a trap!” Ackbar yelled.

“So what if it is? The Blue Tooka wouldn’t back away from this. It’s supposed to be a totem, a shadow of the Rebellion, not a scared old woman. Otherwise what’s the point?”

Ackbar and Mon exchanged a glance. Padmé looked at their silent argument, and the admiral eventually gave up and gave her what she wanted. Padmé smiled widely and thanked them both before excusing herself. She had to get ready for the journey.

It has been a long time since she had her own spacecraft for her to be alone in. Usually there was at least a pilot, and suddenly she’s all alone for several trips. Her own ship. The Blue Tooka was back in action.  _ Finally _ . And maybe this time everything would be alright. Padmé chased the doubts and darkness in her thoughts and concentrated on her mission. She was expected three days from there on a lost planet near in the outer rim, near Hutt Space. Though she had no idea who waited for her, she was confident. It would maybe be useful for the rebellion. And if not, well, it would pump up her reputation. Padmé entered the coordinates in the autopilot, and then she played the message. It was audio only, and really hard to decode.

“ _ I contact the Rebellion for the sole purpose of reaching the Blue Tooka. I need its assistance as fast as possible. Meet me on the Kressia colony in three standard days counting when you receive the message. Good luck. _ ” Padmé stopped the message before it could repeat.

Three days. She would be at Kressia in a standard day. That could give her the opportunity to know about the colony and make sure it wasn’t a trap. Reaching for her bag, Padmé rummaged through it to get her set of false ID and her prized mask of the Blue Tooka. Though the design was almost abstract it was easy to recognize the wide eyes and sharp teeth of an angry cat. It was covering her face completely and changing her voice to an inhuman one. She couldn’t be more anonymous. Padmé waited for the landing with stress knotting her throat. When she arrived, it was in complete silence that she disembarked and let herself be swallowed whole by the darkness of the decaying city.

The city of Kressia was  _ swarming  _ with activity. It reminded Padmé of Corellia, with its capital-like features yet poor markets and thieves. She kept her bag close and her hood drawn on her face as she visited the busy streets. Eyes were on her, but she wasn’t afraid. She wasn’t old enough to be defenseless against a few attackers. And, who knows, maybe there were friends of the rebellion who heard about the Blue Tooka? Padmé walked through every store, every street, and even the dead ends in town. She was close to know the city by heart, she wouldn’t take any chance. If that was a trap, well she would walk away victorious. Padmé bought two more blasters she hid under her cape, and a grenade she left in sight on her belt. She was ready.

When she woke up on the third day, there was a note near her door, obviously slid under it in the night. Padmé immediately got up to grab it. “Banana Cantina. Twelve sh.” Padmé threw a glance at the hour, it was seven in the morning, but she decided to go to the meeting as soon as possible. She dressed up accordingly and went to the place with the quirky name. How people kept a straight face at saying that name was beyond her, but it would be impolite to say it.

The very fact that they knew how to find her was unsettling but not so impossible. After all she kept her mask on all day. Someone had probably followed her, and it seemed to be the right kind. She hoped. It was too late to back away anyway. She had left the dirty hotel room empty of her presence and the trip to the Cantina wasn’t that long. The Banana Cantina wasn’t very far from the center, nor was it particularly ill-frequented. She arrived at eight thirty and at a table with a beverage made of alcohol of banana, specialty of the house, a book and a figurine of a blue tooka. And, drink after drink, she waited.

At twelve O’clock, someone sat in the opposite chair of her table. Padmé rose her eyes from her chapter and scrutinized him from behind her mask. It was a young Twi’lek, barely a man. Padmé felt both old and sad a boy had to assist to secret meetings with a hunted myth.

“So you’re the Blue Tooka? It’s such an honor to meet you. Thanks for having accepted.”

Padmé nodded as a form of salute, and she talked in the deformed voice her mask gave her. “The rebellion doesn’t leave people in need. Tell me about the mission.”

The boy licked his lips in stress. “It’s an odd request but… I’m sure it will interest you. A Togrutan woman asked me to contact you. She said you could help. A shipment has been stolen from… some lost planet, by the Empire itself no less. And she insisted it was imperative the shipment never reach Coruscant. What for, I don’t know.”

“What’s in the shipment?”

“No idea. Something important.”

“And that Togrutan contact?”

“Nu-hu. No idea. She said you would be here. So I trusted her, and she was right. She’s shady but… well, shady may not be the word. She’s  _ mysterious _ but she has some strange, good strange, vibes. And she knows a lot of things. That talks to you?”

Padmé wasn’t sure. It would be impossible for her to be… Padmé chased the thought, and the mourning-pain that accompanied it.

“Where’s the shipment?”

“I, uh… I don’t know,” the young Twi’lek sheepishly said. “But you’re not going to be alone on this trip! a friend of us will accompany you. He’s a trusted pilot and a true rebel at heart. You’ll do fine.”

Padmé nodded, half a smile hidden behind her mask. She then waited for the young Twi’lek to come back with more drinks, and they exchanged intel above two strong beverages with a blue color but a taste of banana. That guy knew how to talk to her. After an hour they split ways, Padmé now aware of her new goals. She was expected at the spatioport at seven pm planet hour, so she had a few hours to kill. On this planet the sun was already low in the sky, but that didn’t stop her from wandering in the city one last time. She readied herself for the journey and hoped for the best.

When seven pm ringed on her watch she looked up to see which ship was waiting for her in the large and crowded port. She found him thanks to the drawing of tooka slapped on the side of the ship. Not very discreet, but very effective. She approached as the pilot washed the drawing and jumped from the wing of the ship to greet her. He was a young Kel Dor, but with the metal piece on his alien face she couldn’t guess his age.

“It’s an honor to meet you,” he said with a soft tone, contrasting with the menacing look the breathing mask gave him. “We’re about to leave, so hop in. Your own ship will be well taken care of.”

“What? But… I thought it could stay a week on the port without questions asked.”

“Trust me, it’s going to take longer than that. I’m an expert at sniffing out shitty plans. This one is.”

Padmé didn’t give herself a chance to run away. She jumped in the ship and sat in the co-pilot seat before she could change her mind.


	5. In the enemies' lair

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tai-ki and Padmé jumped into a plan that sounded both desperate and crazy.

“I must ask,” the pilot said while preparing the jump to hyperspace, “Why  _ Blue Tooka _ ?”

“Because I love both the color and the animal,” Padmé said in a flat tone.

“Oh. I’m Tai-Ki, by the way. My real name, yes. That… I hope that doesn’t bother you.”

“Why would that bother me?” she asked in confusion. “We’re among friends, I’m not your superior.”

Tai-Ki seemed to relax a little. “Sorry. I’m not used to it. You’re a mystery, almost a myth even among the rebellion! Some say only a few chosen ones know who you are under the mask!”

Only the ones who bothered showing up at the meeting in Alderaan, Padmé thought with amusement. But it was interesting, and a little gratifying if she was honest, to face the reactions her secret identity provoked. Most surprising of all, this one was a fan. It was uncommon, to say the least, especially after her last missions.

“If this mission is a success, maybe you’ll be promoted, then,” Padmé said with confidence, and Tai-Ki laughed with a peculiar cackle that was uncommon in the Kel-Dor race. Padmé laughed with him. They took a few hours of comfortable preparation before focusing on the mission again. At least Tai-Ki seemed to know more about it than the Twi’lek messenger.

“Alright,” Padmé said, “What do I have to know?”

“The reason why our mutual friend trusted only you with this mission is… she said you were well-acquainted with the Force…? Are you a Jedi? Because it’s-”

“I’m not a Jedi,” Padmé interrupted him with a firm voice. “Focus. The mission.”

“Yes. Sorry. Okay. Uh… Oh, right. So apparently you know a lot about the Force  _ and  _ the Jedi customs, and also about politics and treachery and the art of merchandising. That’s quite a CV. So I will be your armed protector, no offense, and we’re going in the mid-rim, to Nillis. It’s an Imperial outpost and the shipment’s intermediary stop before a straight travel to Coruscant. It’s our last chance to stop it.” He took a deep breath. “Any question?”

“What’s in the shipment?”

“I don’t know, but it’s as precious as life itself, at least for  _ her _ . She told me we could be enough of two to smuggle it out of the Empire, I guess it’s small. It’s not an actual living thing, that I know.”

“And it’s the only high secured shipment in the destroyer, I suppose.”

“Bingo.”

Padmé stayed silent for a moment. Something in all the explanations seemed off.

“... You told me we would be in this mission for a long time. You were sniffing out a ‘shitty plan’. But yet it looks so… simple.”

Tai-Ki shrugged. “Yeah, let’s go in the heart of the Empire to grab something they desperately want. Nothing can go wrong. Besides, if that has something to do with the Force…”

“Then the journey will take an unexpected turn.” Padmé became thoughtful. “You ask me if I’m Jedi, yet you rely on an instinct you find out never wrong.”

“My mom told me I could be a bit Force-sensitive. But only a little. You?”

“No, no Force whatsoever. Only luck and skills.” Lots of bad luck. Mostly.

“Let’s hope that’s enough,” Tai-Ki cackled.

Padmé smiled under the mask and made a few searches on Nillis.

The planet was mostly known for the Imperial outpost that was settled there. Due to its lack of resources and navigability, both the Republic and the Separatists had barely acknowledged it, so there was nothing but scarce tribes and a lot of dense tropical vegetation. The Empire had made quite a destruction to place the outpost, but a large part of the planet had remained untouched. And there was a twist: If reaching Nillis was a piece of cake, approaching its orbit was something else entirely. The number of stationary ships guarding the entrance was ridiculous. Padmé briefly wondered if it was always like this or if it was a special occasion, to overprotect the mysterious shipment. Then she decided it wasn’t that important; one way or the other it would be difficult to enter and reach their target. Tai-Ki looked as anxious as she was, but he continued the approach of the planet.

“What’s your plan?” Padmé eventually asked, her eyes fixed on the nearest guardship.

“We enter the area undetected, go to the star destroyer by pretending to sell fuel. We plant unstable components in the destroyer’s fuel tank, grab the shipment and… Well my plan stops there for the moment. I think I have the code for the merchants and visitors. There’s a civilian colony attached to the military outpost.”

“You  _ think  _ you have the code?”

“Well, I have  _ a  _ code. There’s always the possibility that it’s outdated but…”

Padmé scoffed under her mask. “Looks like you were right. That is some shitty plan indeed.”

They crept near the checkpoint in silence, listening to the warning given through the radio. Eventually the voice of a living person breached through the radio waves. “ _ You’re entering a restricted area. Please state your business and the according code _ .”

“It’s a light travelling carrier, codename XT-8005, transporting refined fuel for selling. The according code,” and Tai-Ki didn’t hesitate, “is 359P399E.” He winked at Padmé.

After a silence, the voice replied. “ _ You are clear for landing XT-8005 _ .  _ Welcome to Nillis _ .”

They passed through the checkpoint without trouble, and Padmé allowed herself to breathe.

“You’re lucky,” she said.

“I thought you were the lucky one,” Tai-Ki laughed again. “my plan was well-thought, and only a little daring, what’s to fear? I served the hors-d’oeuvre, you take care of the main course. That destroyer must be somewhere around.”

Padmé nodded and got up from the copilot seat to ready herself. Unlike Tai-Ki she couldn’t present herself to the soldiers with the mask on. And with the security camera and their plan ahead she couldn’t possibly walk with her mask off. Outside? Probably. Inside there was no way. She suddenly got strangled by the irrational fear of crossing paths with  _ Darth Vader  _ on this planet. A bump on the descent took her back to reality. Shaking the unpleasant thoughts off of her head, Padmé gave a thumb up to Tai-Ki and hopped into the smuggler’s cache to make a discreet exit from under the ship. 

Padmé felt the vibrations of the ship stopping and heard the heavy boots of the troopers against the metal plates above her. Tai-Ki immediately started chit-chatting as they searched the ship. Padmé counted to three then snuck out of the ship, discreetly landing under it. She hid in the shadows of crates and vehicles as she assessed the situation. Troopers were patrolling and checking in the crowd of visitors and merchants, and numerous civilian ships were in the hangar. Two doors allowed them to leave the hangar bay; one led to the highly secure military complex which was their target, and the other to the civilian area. Further from both the doors and the landing area, closer to the exit of the outpost, was a market where merchants and mechanics would sell both their goods and their services to keep the ships and their crews rolling. But Padmé didn’t see any star destroyer, which confirmed her suspicions. They surely had their own landing bay. Inhaling through her mask, Padmé hurried up and skidded under the crates of refined fuel Tai-Ki had just unloaded. Tai-Ki was still bothering the guards with meaningless conversation topics. Together they passed through the door leading to the military complex.

“Come along, merchant. We need you to sign one more thing before you can go,” Padmé heard one of the troopers say. Tai-Ki agreed.

With said trooper, Tai-Ki and the crate of fuel entered an elevator.

“We’re glad you’re here,” the trooper started with a casual tone, “we need to refuel a destroyer as fast as we can and since it arrived unexpectedly we couldn’t do much. So you’re kind of a blessing.”

Before Tai-Ki could ask why Padmé got out of her hiding spot and jumped at the stormtrooper. Though he tried to shoot at her, the blaster only covered Tai-Ki’s unmanly scream of surprise. She broke his neck.

“What?! Wha- How??”

“Shut up, help me steal the armor and dump the body through the hatch. We have two minutes.”

Bewildered, the Kel Dor eventually helped her and while he got rid of the soldier she changed into trooper armor. She hid the mask in Tai-Ki’s bag. Tai-Ki graced her by not looking the whole time. But Padmé couldn’t hide her voice anymore.

“When the elevator opens, you keep walking and talking like nothing happened. It won’t take long for them to see there’s a problem, but it can give us a few hours.”

“Alright. So… a woman?”

“Is that a problem?”

“No, nothing. Just… uncovering the mystery one clue at a time.” And he laughed with his unique cackle. Padmé couldn’t help but smile.

the doors of the elevator opened with a *ping!*.

The destroyer was gigantic, its size larger than one of Mos Eisley’s district, and around it was more troopers than Padmé could count. Whatever happened that needed her expertise was beyond her imagination, and if it was related to the Force… Padmé closed her eyes and hoped Vader wasn’t on the ship. She hoped he wasn’t en route for the ship. She hoped he didn’t even have a thought for whatever was happening there.

“We’re going or what?” Tai-Ki asked, and in the process he cut her train of thoughts.

“Yes. Let’s go.”

They started walking in the hangar bay like it was the most normal thing ever, the entire army around them oblivious of the treachery at hand. It wouldn’t be for long, though, for they hadn’t signed anything proving their legitimacy, and yet they were embarking on a Star Destroyer. They stepped into a less used corridor and stopped.

“Alright. I’m going to deliver the fuel and you’re going to find our mission,” Tai-Ki said. He hesitated. “After that we’re leaving… how?”

“If we’re not discovered before we’re leaving, by the front door. If not, our direct plan is to leave the outpost and head for the wild. We’ll figure it out after that.”

“Okay, not stressful at all. I’m keeping the mask. Good luck, Blue Tooka.”

Padmé nodded and let him disappear in the corridor before walking away. The good thing about the size of the destroyers was that they had to mark the way so that people didn’t get lost. Padmé followed the signs until she arrived at the loading room and the containers. The place had the size of a large ship by itself, but it was easy to find what she was looking for. Her prize was just in front of her in a large and secured container. All she had to do was open it and…

“Hey! What are you doing here?” 

Padmé jumped out of her skin.

“Sorry!” She made a salute to the two trooper who walked to her from behind a container. “TK-816, boarding the ship along to Coruscant where I’ll wait for my new affectation.”

“Great,” one of them said to the other, “we asked for repairs and they sent us more troops.”

“Repairs?” Padmé dared ask.

“Yeah,” the second trooper replied, “we sustained damages to the exterior canons due to the cold. That Illum planet sure was  _ not  _ hospitable.”

They laughed, Padmé forced herself to laugh with them, and they finally left her alone. Padmé breathed again. Once again, she turned to the container. She didn’t have much time, she had less time than she had imagined. She fiddled with the padlock for a moment, growing more and more restless as time passed. She eventually gave up and shot it. Easy to open, harder to hide. Inside the container was only a little crate, tightly sealed, its inside protected from view. Padmé took it carefully and carried it away. As she got away she heard an officer exclaiming in front of the destroyed container’s door. Second after an alarm screeched in the whole area. Padmé hid behind a container further in the back of the room and when an engineer ran past her she grabbed it by the neck and pulled him with her. With a gloved punch she knocked him out. Once again, she changed herself and assumed another identity. Padmé started to be fond of this game. She covered her face by pulling high the collar of the shirt plus a scarf, and she planted the engineer’s cap in her head and hair. Then she took the toolbox and put the crate inside before strapping it to her shoulder. And with the blaster of the trooper at her belt, she was ready to leave.

Following the rest of the crew Padmé walked further away from the loading area of the Star Destroyer, and in the way she saw Tai-Ki being rushed outside. Kriff, he surely was the first suspect. Quickly, Padmé lowered her head and followed the troopers outside instead of joining the rest of the crew. Because of the noise and agitation, and the arrival of a squad of death troopers no one stopped the frail engineer from leaving the place. She hopped down from the ship and looked around in hope of seeing Tai-Ki. And sure enough she found him. Holding her toolbox tighter, Padmé almost ran to him. At first, he didn’t recognize her but he put the pieces back together.

“What happened?” He whispered angrily at her.

“The shipment was too secure, and I had little time. I had to improvise.” She gritted her teeth. “I would have been glad to do otherwise.”

“How do we get out of here?”

“Looks like we’re going into the wilderness. Follow me.” They started walking towards the entrance of the bay of the destroyers.

Running would have been out of the question, but when Padmé saw several troopers run at them, it seemed like the reasonable option.

“Halt! There has been a security breach! State your name and validation code!”

“Of course,” Padmé said, “Let me get my IDs…”

she grabbed her blaster and shot. Tai-Ki pulled her to safety with a curse. The fight drew the attention of more soldiers. They had to get out, fast.

“Use your instinct!” Padmé yelled as she grabbed her mask from his bag. There was no point in hiding anymore.

Tai-Ki cursed again and frantically looked around, repeating how he hated this plan and how he knew this was a shitty plan. Padmé shot and shot at troopers, not letting go of the toolbox.

“This way! Blue, this way!”

Padmé turned around, shot at the door Tai-Ki pointed and as it exploded they rushed forward, under the constant screeching of the alarm and the thump of the boots of numerous stormtroopers. They couldn’t care less how they were going, as long as it was out of the way. Would it be an exit? A dead end? Some random door leading to the outside, posted there for some unknown reason?

It was a long corridor with various doors and nowhere to hide, and soon blaster shots rang in their ears. Padmé opened the first unlocked door they met and pushed Tai-Ki inside. She closed behind them and with a shot in the control panel she sealed the door.

“It won’t be long before they open it,” Tai-Ki stuttered with a ragged breath. “We have to get away, and fast.”

Padmé nodded while looking around. They were in some sort of storage full of broken troopers’ armors, waiting to be fixed or melted. From where she was she couldn’t see any other entrance or exit than the main door. And the ventilation shaft was too obvious of an escape.

“Now what?” Tai-Ki anxiously asked.

“I’m thinking,” she absentmindedly replied. “No door, no window, ventilation out of the question, because of certain death.”

She crouched and looked in the toolbox. The shipment seemed fine. She then searched under it, rummaging through the tools to find something useful. The bangs on the door started to become more and more frantic.

“Wait, wait!” Tai-Ki suddenly shouted, rushing to her. “Wait, I know that tool! It’s a laser! It’s used to cut through metal to reach the broken pieces, for example in critical ship damages.”

“You carry a  _ mini lightsaber  _ in your  _ toolboxes _ ??”

“No! It’s… It’s not as powerful as a lightsaber, but it’s  _ made  _ to cut through metal! Let’s make a window, okay?” He grabbed the tool and went to the wall opposite to the door. Padmé hid the shipment and took the toolbox again. The troopers were shooting through the door and trying to break it. While Tai-Ki started cutting the wall Padmé pushed boxes to cover him and she faced the door with her blaster drawn in case the troops managed to break through.

Fortunately the clatter of the pan of the wall resounded before the explosion of the door. Padmé followed Tai-Ki in the small entrance, pulling one of the crates of broken helmets in front of the hole. They were in another room. This one was eerily empty, and Padmé and Tai-Ki exchanged a glance before tip-toeing away from the hole. They could hear the troopers running around in the other room. It was only a matter of time before they’d find out. Tai-Ki peered through the door of the room and closed it again.

“Not the same corridor, but the same disposition. And there’s still a lot of people running around. And… We’re up, we’re supposed to be several floors up, but I can’t see any window!”

“It must not be secure enough. Cut through another wall, that’s our only chance.”

Tai-Ki nodded and got to work immediately. Once again Padmé covered him. This time the pan of the wall fell into the void and they were suddenly blinded by the sun.

“Good instinct,” Padmé breathed through the mask.

“Happy luck,” Tai-Ki whispered at the same time.

They chuckled and started climbing the building. This exposed, they had to hurry if they wanted to reach the top of the building alive. The alarm was still blaring, and soon large energetic shields rose between the three sectors of the outpost. Padmé and Tai-Ki hauled themselves onto the top and looked around. TIE fighters were landing off from the spatio port, and from under them there were probe droids climbing, ready to terminate them.

“Now what?” Tai-Ki grumbled. He suddenly became very frantic. “I have an idea! Follow me!”

Padmé ran after him, looking out for attackers. They climbed again, and Tai-Ki grabbed the flags on top of the building. Imperial flags. Padmé secured the toolbox against her side and grumbled.

“I hope you know what you’re doing.”

Tai-Ki laughed. “Most of the time I don’t! But I’m sure it will be fine!”

He gave her one of the flags and he started running toward the edge of the tower with a magnificent battle cry. Padmé punched a probe droid in the nose and looked as it folded itself and fell. And she followed Tai-Ki while spreading the flag as wide as she could. Tai-Ki jumped towards the wilderness. Padmé closed her eyes, prayed for Anakin to watch over her folly from the stars… and she jumped after Tai-Ki, using the flag to slow her fall.

She was going to punch Tai-Ki for that.


	6. Oh we're here in the jungle, running right into the fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Escaping the planet is a difficult mission, especially with a box full of treasure in their bag.   
> But Padmé is nothing if not resourceful and daredevil.

Padmé gritted her teeth and closed her eyes as she crashed into the trees surrounding the outpost. Her mask had protected her face from most of the damages, but her right arm got scratched by thorns and wood. Quickly, she got rid of her flag and fell between the branches to reach the ground. She made sure the shipment wasn’t damaged, but the crate seemed in perfect condition, then she looked around to look for Tai-Ki. There was a low rumble in the sky above her, Padmé feared they already sent the probe droids to chase after them. Those damned things… Padmé put some pressure on her wound and ran into the woods. She had faith she would find Tai-Ki unarmed, or that he would find her.

And sure enough, Padmé heard Tai-Ki in the bushes as she was running deeper in the dense and barely practicable forest. She jumped next to him and crept deeper into the bushes.

“Great! I knew you would survive!” Tai-Ki happily chirped with a cackle.

Padmé punched him in the face and he rolled on the side, still hidden in the heavy greenery. Though Padmé felt somewhat  _ bad  _ for a moment, she decided she wouldn’t show it.

“That was uncalled for!” He hissed as the probe droids hovered above them without noticing them.

“You’re right. But I promised myself I would hit you. I couldn’t back away from a promise.”

“Thoughtful… I guess. Now what? Where are we going?”

“Well… I suppose  _ deeper into the forest  _ is for now the best course of action. We can’t think of a plan properly here, let’s find a place to rest. The shipment is safe and away from the Empire. In a way the mission is done and we’re not in a rush anymore.”

Tai-Ki nodded. After having waited long enough they crawled out of the bushes and walked away from the outpost. They still had a blaster and a laser cutter, so they weren’t defenseless against the fauna and possible hostile natives. The night was settling quickly, way quicker than in standard hours, and Padmé guessed the planet was moving three to four hours faster than standard orbit. Soon the two rebels walked in the darkness with a sole torchlight to guide them as the greenery was too dense to let the moon do its office.

They trekked in the forest for hours more before tiredness got the best of them. They decided to stop and rest. They didn’t hear any enemy around and agreed to settle a camp between the roots of a large tree.

“We have… fruits,” Tai-Ki said. “Is that okay?”

“Can you eat?” Padmé asked with genuine concern.

Tai-Ki put a hand on his mask and shrugged. But Padmé knew it was a real problem. Kel Dors’ constitution was weak, oxygen was fatal to them. This planet was highly oxygenated. Tai-Ki couldn’t eat.

“Don’t worry. I ate not so long ago, and I have supplements in my pockets. You humans need to eat more often, you’re always hungry.”

“Right,” Padmé giggled, “but I’m okay. I don’t know what’s poisonous and we have nothing to test. So it’ll be water and sleep until we’re sure of what we’re dealing with.”

Tai-Ki eventually agreed with her, even if the idea of a human starving herself didn’t please him, and he settled next to her to take a few hours of rest while Padmé kept watch. And Padmé slept through the end of the night and the beginning of the morning without any incident. They resumed their journey with a light heart and the shipment safely strapped to Padmé’s shoulder. They found themselves chit-chatting about trivial things while walking. Padmé felt invigorated with the place, both because of nature  _ and  _ the oxygen, and for the first time in a while she felt younger. After another half standard day of walk they found what they were looking for: a camp of a native species near a river. They were humanoid sentient creatures with longer arms and brown skin, and everything in their surroundings reminded Padmé of how forgotten it was, but also how at peace it was. Padmé remembered how she fought for the preservation of native culture back in her days as senator. Her main argument was that the Republic couldn’t benefit from anything in these places, and the only they could bring was  _ war _ . Now that the Empire had settled on the planet it was only a matter of time before everything fell apart, and if the Emperor wanted to take everything then there would be war. A scream drew Padmé’s attention and she saw a child run away from their location directly to the village. Tai-Ki groaned.

“Great. I hope they’re not violent.”

“It’s going to be fine,” Padmé reassured him. And she believed it.

In minutes they got surrounded by spears and knives and frightened men. Padmé slowly rose her hands, as calm as she could be. And if she was at peace it wasn’t Tai-Ki’s case, and the Kel Dor soon brought most of the hostile attention to himself.

“Blue?? Any ideas??”

“Stay calm. Stay still.” She showed her unarmed hands before raising them to her face. Carefully, she took her mask off and smiled at the group. Some lowered their weapons as she talked with peace in her voice.

“We mean you no harm. We are lost. Can you help us?”

She doubted they understood basic, but she  _ knew  _ compassion was universal. She stood in silence, a smile on her face, ignoring Tai-Ki’s stare as she focused on the conversation between the natives. Tai-Ki was anxious but compliant in Padmé’s plan. After a few minutes they were invited to follow the group closer to the village.

The houses were large and colorful, all nested between the roots of the trees or on planks above the water. Most of the goods were made of wood and vines, very few leathers seemed to be used and Padmé wondered if there was any livestock for them to use. A man came closer to them and bowed.

“Welcome to our village. Please forgive our mistrust, but the Imperial outpost is putting everyone on edge.”

“There is no need to apologize,” Padmé answered with a smile, “we are relieved to see you’re talking a known language. It’ll be easier.”

“Ah, yes,” the man laughed. “Come! You must be hungry.”

They were settled in one of the houses and given fruit and fish for dinner. Tai Ki briefly took his mask off to put something in his mouth and he sighed with relief. Padmé ate little, too focused on finding a way out.

“How did you learn basic?”

“I worked at the outpost for a while. Five years. But since we’re no threat and our planet offers no useful resources, they completely ignored us despite my attempts at making friends.” He scratched his head with a long arm. “What are you doing here, anyway?”

“We… don’t have a lot of friends either in the outpost. They want us dead. We will leave as quickly as possible, and we were hoping you knew how to leave the place. The planet.”

“There is a way,” the man said with a slow voice. “I know a woman, a human like you who lives in the civilian settlement. She used to come by often even after regular shutdown hours. She can probably smuggle you back to the airport. Look for Demara, she’s about your age and has short hair, blond. One of ours will guide you back to the outpost, near the civilian settlement.”

“That’s very kind of you,” Tai-Ki said. “The rebellion–”

“I don’t care about your rebellion,” the man interrupted him, extending his long arm to place his hand in Tai-Ki’s shoulder, “Nor do I care about the Empire. It is sad, maybe shocking to hear that, but all we care about here is the safety of our people, our children. The fact that you’re rebels will not make us help you more or less. There’s nothing we can do, here, to help the galaxy. It is not our place.” He looked at them solemnly. “You will find that most of the people of the galaxy think like me.”

“I hope not,” Padmé answered with a tight voice. “Rest assured that the rebellion can fight for those you can’t, so they don’t have to.”

“That’s a noble cause,” the man simply said. “Now come, let’s get you ready for your travel.”

And though they were hospitable and helpful, and the children were laughing in innocence like her own did at their age, Padmé’s mood had greatly dimmed. She felt once again in the Senate chambers, looking at everyone clapping as they gave full authority to  _ one man _ . People had abandoned their freedom for security, they had abandoned  _ peace  _ for their own safety. Fear was a good motivator. Early in the night, once everyone was prepared, they left the village and Padmé put her mask back on her face. She walked close to Tai-Ki, silent and lost in her thoughts and the Kel Dor didn’t disturb her the whole time. The way back to the outpost had been faster with the help of a local, and Tai-Ki and Padmé looked once again at the walls of the Imperial Outpost. The alarm had gone silent with the days, but numerous probe droids were patrolling back and forth in the sky, sometimes disappearing into the greenery only to come back empty handed. From there the rebels could see the building they had jumped from, and it was now swarming with droids. At least they made the Empire angry, Padmé bitterly thought as she kept the shipment close to her. A quick glance sideways and she saw Tai-Ki deep in conversation with their guide who had notions in basic. Eventually the autochthon departed, leaving them alone in front of the heavily guarded outpost. Tai-Ki sighed.

“At least they were nice.”

“And pretty straightforward,” Padmé said, her mask making her sound angrier than she really was. “After all this time, people still cower rather than take a stand.”

“Can you blame them, though?” Tai-Ki asked with a serious tone Padmé never heard from him.

She didn’t answer. No, she couldn’t. But that didn’t make her less angry, or less aware of the sad truth. People would think in a small picture for their sake. For their families. And everytime the rebellion would be losing both ground and men, then they would have no choice but to do without reinforcement, without support.

“It’s not that bad,” Tai-Ki said, “They’re not that numerous.”

“They’re the  _ Empire _ . And every time we lose–”

“I’m talking about the outpost.”

Padmé snapped back to reality. She felt a blush creeping on her face under the mask and she muttered. “I’m sorry, I was… lost.” She took Tai-Ki’s binoculars and checked the defenses too. “If that woman, Demara, can go in and out then we can do it.”

The civilian settlement was indeed less protected than the military complex. Though there were still probe droids in patrol around the whole perimeter and the walls and shields were secured beyond imaginations, Padmé was confident the troopers didn’t actually care about the place as much as the armed outpost and military ships.

After a moment of scouting Tai-Ki and Padmé found a hole in the ground, hidden enough to look harmless to droids’ eyes but when they got closer it was actually large enough to fit a human male. They glanced at each other and jumped inside and fell into what looked like an escape route. Padmé rummaged through the toolbox to retrieve her torchlight and she lit their way into the cramped tunnel. They walked for a while, too long for them to feel at ease, to know where they would end up. Fortunately, before one of them succumbed to a claustrophobic attack they reached the end and a small ladder which led to a wooden trapdoor. Tai-Ki climbed first and pushed the trap open a little. As he was looking around to make sure they were safe the trap door flew open and a blaster pushed against the Kel Dor’s forehead.

“And  _ who  _ are you?” A woman asked, her voice rasp and slightly grave which reminded Padmé of one of those back alleys bars singers back on Coruscant.

“Demara?” Padmé asked from under Tai-Ki’s position. “A… mutual friend told us you could help.”

The blaster backed away slowly. “That doesn’t answer my question.”

“Can we talk someplace else?” Tai-Ki asked. Eventually the blaster was gone and, with the woman’s helping hand, the two rebels got out of the hole.

They were in a kitchen, right near the large and rustic oven where meat was slowly cooking between large resistors. Noises were heard behind the door and from a slim overture where the rest of the cantina could be seen. It was a small diner with comfortable booths and round tables with multicolored patterns. An odd place for a smuggler.

“I know that mask,” the woman said. “You’re the Blue Tooka, you’re rebels.” she gave a quick laugh like an automatic weapon. “You have some  _ balls _ , everyone has heard about the attack!”

Padmé held the toolbox closer, but the woman was quick to ease her fears.

“I am Demara,” she shook Tai-Ki’s hand, “it’s a pleasure to meet you. Let’s get settled in the backroom and we can talk.” She left a young man in charge of the kitchen and walked into a small but cozy room, decorated like the diner. While she served steamcaf’ Padmé looked at her better. She had short hair indeed and was just a little older than Padmé. She had scars on her arms and two fingers missing.

“So,” Demara started, “What are you doing here? You’re far from home.”

“We have a mission,” Tai-Ki explained, “we need to leave the place. We were told you can go wherever you please, and the escape route in your diner is proof enough. We hoped you could help us leave Nillis… unnoticed.”

Demara looked at them then the box, to eventually lock her gaze on Padmé’s mask. “It’s dangerous, what you ask. What’s in this for me? The rebellion has no money, nothing to offer.” She sighed. “I don’t know what I can do for you.”

“Not with that attitude,” Padmé stated without a trace of venom nor sarcasm in her modified voice. “We get that you are not a big fan of the rebellion. But we’re not asking you to get in trouble. We just want  _ out _ . You’re a smuggler, or at least you were one. So you’re not without problems either. The very fact that an  _ adventurer  _ is cooking in an imperial outpost proves that. So I’m sure we can help each other.”

Demara stayed silent for a moment, not looking away. She drank her cup in one go.

“Alright. I’m listening.”

“You’re wanted, aren’t you? Not by the Empire so it’s either pirates or Hutts. It’s the reason you stopped smuggling.”

“You are an insightful thing. It’s not quite that… But almost.”

“You were not a smuggler,” Tai-Ki realized. “You were a pirate!”

Demara chuckled. “Yes. I was a pirate. A member of the Black Suns. Things have… let’s say  _ changed _ . We lost our leader not so long ago and things got heated. There was mutiny, sides taken, blasters drawn. I escaped but now I’m like you: stuck here. It’s not with pleasure that I live my life here, I’m not having fun. And if I side with the rebellion then not even in the Empire will I be safe. I can’t risk that.”

“Alright. So you’re telling us you don’t want to help.”

“I CAN’T!” Demara groaned. “You are stubborn, for a stupid cat. There’s pirates even here, I can’t… Oh, wait, I have an idea. Are you… against the idea of being sold?”

“WHAT?” Tai-Ki shouted, “That’s nonsense!”

“I’m listening,” Padmé simply replied.

“You said we could help each other. If I deliver the Blue Tooka to the Black Suns it will clear off my debt to them, and my name also. I’m free, you’re out. And I’m sure you can figure out how to escape that on your own.”

“That’s a risk we can take,” Padmé agreed. “Tai-Ki, what choice do we have?”

The Kel Dor grumbled, but Padmé knew she had him on her side. They accepted.

They stayed in the diner for two more days, the time for them to get ready for the crazy escape plan they were doing. Tai-Ki made no comment about the shipment, nor about her face and for that Padmé was grateful. At the end of the second day Demara gave her last warnings before sealing them in a smuggling container.

“Do  _ not  _ trust those guys. I told them I made you believe they were only smugglers with sympathy for the rebellion. They will be violent.”

“What about the shipment?”

“I didn’t mention it. Quiet now. Good luck.”

Padmé cringed as the lid closed on them. They had enough space to sit and it was manageable to breath, but it wasn’t comfortable, it was dark, and they were at the mercy of criminals.

“Not your best idea, uh?” Tai-Ki cackled. Padmé chuckled with him.

How many hours did they stay here? How many people have they passed? Troopers? Civilians? Criminals? Were they aboard a ship? Still in the hangar bay? Was it possible to get out of there alive? Padmé forgot time, here in the dark, and Tai-Ki was painfully stiff with anxiety at her side. At least they could still breathe, she thought. And she hoped enough time had passed for them to try to leave. Padmé elbowed Tai-Ki who answered with an “ouch”.

“Alright. Phase two. Mini lightsaber, now.”

Tai-Ki moved a little, as much as he could without breaking Padmé’s hip, and he started cutting one of the wall panels of their box. Padmé retrieved her weapon.

“They didn’t check on us?” Tai-Ki asked. “Isn’t that weird?”

“Yes, it is. Stay on your guard.”

The panel fell on the ground with a clank and Tai-Ki rolled over to free himself, quickly followed by Padmé. They were in a ship, in a loading room.

Surrounded by pirates and weapons.

One of them laughed.

“So that was true. You  _ are  _ the Blue Tooka.”

Padmé cursed as she dropped her weapon before raising her hands, imitated by Tai-Ki. The pirates weren’t numerous, but they were well-armed and clearly not friendly.

“We are honored to have you as guests! You are, after all, as priced as a Jedi! Please settle down, let’s have a chat! For starters: what do you have in that box?”


	7. War is never cheap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> War always requires a heavy tribute.

“It’s none of your concern,” Padmé replied with a flat tone, gritting her teeth under her mask.

The ceiling was low and the room rather small. The ship wasn’t gigantic, and it was good news. Probably the whole crew was there and that meant they were in hyperspace, far from Nillis.

“No need to be rude,” the pirate who appeared to be a Weequay replied. “We could kill you both and still get the reward.”

“Kill a tooka another will take its place.”

The pirates raised their weapons, ready to try that lie. Without a hesitation Tai-Ki threw his turned on laser blade to the nearest pirate and hit him right in the face, cutting through his eye and jaw with ease. Padmé immediately grabbed her blaster at her feet and jumped behind the crate as hell rained down on them.

“Tai-Ki!”

“I’m fine!” He slid right next to her, unharmed but unarmed. “I’m okay! But we couldn’t wait or buy time! We  _ can’t  _ be brought to the Black Suns!”

“Still, that was reckless.” She waited a few seconds then launched herself on the side to shoot at their enemies. She hit two and hid again. “What’s the plan?”

“We take down as many as we can, take control of the ship and go back to Kressia to deliver the shipment. Then we can go about our lives.”

“Alright, let me handle the shooting.” And Padmé rose again to shoot at every single person in the room. The fight took too long for her taste but finally they were the only one still standing, still moving. They quickly left their hiding place to reach the closest door, Tai-Ki arming himself, and they arrived in a corridor leading to four rooms and the cockpit. Tai-Ki

checked all the rooms while Padmé went for the pilot seat. She turned toward Tai-Ki who was still guarding the entrance.

“Kressia, then? It’s a long haul and we have to take a detour if we want to avoid an imperial blockade, especially with a ship like this one.”

“Let’s do this, then. We have time.”

“No, we haven’t,” Padmé whispered to herself, her thought going to the massive weapon the Empire kept hidden. But she stopped the hyperspace and recalculated the route anyway. What choice did she have? The ship jumped once again, and Tai-Ki sat in the copilot seat with a sigh.

“We did it. It was highly hazardous and very acrobatics. But we did it! And it took us, what, four standard days? Five?”

“It was perfect. We did great.” She got rid of her mask with a laugh. “Thank you for your help, Tai-Ki.”

“Thank  _ you _ ! I can’t believe I personally know the Blue Tooka, they will be sooo jealous!” He cackled, she laughed again. “Say, I wanted to ask… You think I could join the ranks of the rebellion? I mean… actively? Go to your outpost and jump in a X-Wing to fight the Empire?”

For a moment Padmé didn’t know what to answer. She was happy to hear that, hopeful to hear that people still cared. She smiled.

“Of course. You’re welcome anytime. We could use your skills.”

“Then I’d be happy to join you! I’m going to find us things to eat.”

Padmé laughed and gave him a quick nod, settling comfortably in the seat while she waited. After a few moments Tai-Ki went back with rations and water and the rest of the pirates’ weapons. They ate in a peaceful silence before conversing about the rebellion.

About an hour after they seized the ship, Padmé stopped the hyperspace to be ready to jump again.

The door of the cockpit flew open.

Padmé and Tai-Ki rose from their seat… too late as a shot blasted through the copilot seat and pierced the carbo-leather where Tai-Ki’s head previously was. Tai-Ki was standing, looking with a gasp at the hole in his thorax. Padmé screamed and covered her mouth in horror. With her other hand she grabbed one of the blasters and shot at the door without looking at who was there. A blast, another, and a grunt resounded. A shot ran above her head to hit the control panel, Padmé shot again.

A pirate with two gushing wounds looked at her with a smile of blood tainted teeth.

“Should have aimed for the head the first time, sweetheart,” he gasped before falling flat on the ground, letting go of his side weapon. Padmé put two more blasts in his head and ran at Tai-Ki’s side.

“Tai-Ki! Oh no no no!” She rambled soothing words as she tried to stop the bleeding with her hand, helping her friend in a lying position. “It’s going to be fine… It’s going to be fine…”

Tai-Ki put a hand on her face, breathing erratically through his mask.

“I-I’m happy t-to… to have met you… Blue.”

“Padmé,” she whispered, “My name is Padmé… please…”

“Padmé then… T-The name of a… of a q-q-queen… Please tell her I’ve…”

Padmé cried openly when Tai-Ki expired his last breath in her arms, and she sobbed for a long time, barely noticing the dim of the light, not caring about the sudden hiccups of the ship. She had been foolish, she should have done this mission by herself. and she should have exploded the head of every single one of their enemies.

Padmé stayed motionless for a while, Tai-Ki’s head on her lap as she looked at an invisible point on the wall. It was beginning to become cold around her. Slowly, she looked around her and saw the emergency lights near the door… and nothing else. She rose on her feet, careful with her friend’s body, and she went to the destroyed control panel. They hadn’t been in hyperspace. A push of a button, a rise of a lever, nothing. A fiddle with the radio, static. Nothing. Padmé couldn’t see herself fixing a ship. She didn’t know how to. She looked at the fortunately unharmed windshield. Darkness, emptiness, the shining of stars in the distance.

She was stranded.

Padmé looked for fabric to wrap Tai-Ki in, and she did so with slow and automatic movements as if she was in some sort of trance, unable to process what was happening. In a moment it wouldn’t matter. Without power to maintain the ventilation running she would soon run out of oxygen and die of asphyxiation… if the cold didn’t get to her first. She sat in the pilot seat and looked at the sparkles escaping from the control panel like an incomprehensible cry for help. Padmé closed her eyes and thought about her children, about her closest friends. Her mind also wandered toward Anakin, her lovely husband, he never left her thoughts nor her heart. She was so sorry to leave them all behind. Padmé tightened her engineer jacket around her shoulders and shivered. Damn her, she should have paid more attention to ships and basic repairs. She grabbed her toolbox and slowly took the shipment in her lap. She opened it, looked at the dozens of crystals inside as they shimmered under the emergency lights. They looked so small, Padmé would never have guessed. She thought they would be less… inconspicuous. 

“All this for a handful of lightsabers no one will use,” Padmé bitterly said. She closed the box and dropped it. It was… so cold. 

A sound, a  _ clank _ . Footsteps. Everything seemed blurry and far away. Padmé didn’t even remember falling asleep. Where was she? Where were Luke, Leia? She tried to move but everything hurt and Padmé let a strangled cry escape her chapped lips. A hand on her forehead, scorching against her skin, prevented her from moving.

“We got you, Padmé. Everything’s going to be fine.” 

Padmé closed her eyes again. 

The room in which she was was very white, very bright. It was the first thing that came to her mind when Padmé opened her eyes. She turned her head left and right; there was nothing else but the bed she was in and a bedside table with a glass of clear water. Padmé didn’t touch it, she got out of bed and, fighting to keep her balance, she went to the door. It wasn’t locked. Padmé opened it and peered through the gap. 

“... Hello?” she called in the hallway. 

A Twi’lek arrived quickly and opened the door wide as Padmé stepped back. “My lady, you shouldn’t be up and walking!” she scolded her.

Baffled, Padmé returned to bed. The Twi’lek tucked her in and gave her the glass of water. 

“I’m so happy to see you awake, my lady. After a week of coma we were expecting the worst.” 

“A  _ week _ ?!” 

“Now, now, careful with your energy. You had severe frostbite and were highly dehydrated. You also have an injury on your right arm but it’s mostly healed. How do you feel?” 

“Disoriented. Where am I? What happened?” 

“Your ship was damaged, you were adrift in space. If we hadn’t found you… well that didn’t happen, let’s be happy.” 

Though Padmé didn’t share her nurse’s enthusiasm she complied and stayed in bed a day more, compelling herself to eat and drink when asked. She managed to sleep a few hours at night and in the morning she was given fresh clothes and her bag and mask… And the laser blade. Padmé felt her heart break again.

“The body from the cockpit… Tai-ki. Where is he?” 

“We made preparations from cremation. But we figured you would say your last goodbye,” the Twi’lek gently replied. “Would you like to?” 

Padmé nodded and thanked her as she followed her in the little house. They went downstairs in a cold room where Tai-Ki was lying on a table. Padmé chased the tears away. 

“Thank you for everything, my friend. The rebellion is proud to have you on its side.” She kissed the Kel Dor’s forehead and stepped back. “Thank you again. You may proceed.” 

The Twi’lek bowed and pushed the table to another room. This time Padmé didn’t follow. She took a deep breath and went upstairs.

In the doorway was waiting a familiar figure holding the shipment close to her heart.

“Ahsoka,” Padmé said with only a slight tremor, “Took you long enough to show yourself. I thought you were dead.” 

“I know, I’m sorry.” 

The overzealous teenarger had since long left place to a bitter adult, one who saw the galaxy fall apart in the hands of the man she trusted the most. In this way Padmé and her weren’t that much different. Padmé couldn’t help but smile a little at her friend, even though she was still angry. Ahsoka went back to the upper floor and Padmé followed her.

“What you brought is priceless, inestimable for the Jedi. I can’t thank you enough. I can only promise Tai-Ki didn’t die in vain. It was a dream of his to fight for the rebellion.” 

“The Jedi is no longer, Ahsoka. They’re all dead or actively wanted. The Jedi Order has fallen, the Sith are now in control, What difference can you make with a– a  _ bunch of crystals _ ?” 

“You’re angry,” the Togrutan sighed. 

“Of course I am! The rebellion is losing ground, the Empire grows stronger! Vader is terrorizing the galaxy at Palpatine’s command and I live in constant fear that my children could be taken away at any moment! We have our backs against the wall, the next months will be  _ decisive  _ for the war and I’m–I–I’m  _ chasing crystals _ ! For an order that casted you away then disappeared!” 

Ahsoka’s face scrunched up in anger but also shame and sadness, and Padmé immediately regretted her words. After all, Ahsoka lost everything too.

“I’m sorry–” 

“No, you’re right. The Jedi are the past. There’s little chance it can rise back, and even if it does I dread it would become the way it was, where we had lost our purpose. But… Jedi still exist, Padmé.” She sat in a chair in the living room and Padmé did the same. “There’s a reason I asked  _ you _ for this mission. I would have  _ never  _ put your life in danger otherwise. Force, I would have done this mission myself! But I didn’t, because me charging hot-headed somewhere never brought anything good,” she chuckled, “And also because you know what you’re doing. I’m… I’m a Jedi. The people who help you are civilians and Senators. You actually understand both sides, don’t you? You were the one I trusted most, and I was right.” 

For a moment Ahsoka stayed silent, playing with the handle of the box of the shipment, and Padmé said nothing as to not break the silence until Ahsoka was ready. Eventually she was and resumed her train of thoughts. 

“I fought Vader, you know? I tried to stop him, I felt like it was my… my _mission_ , as his padawan. And I lost. I’m glad I live to tell the tale, but at the same time I am _so angry_ I couldn’t stop him. Padmé, he’s _Anakin Skywalker_ under the mask. Of course I couldn’t fight and _win_.” 

“Of course he’s  _ not _ , he’s Darth Vader, he’s… Oh.” 

“Please Padmé, do something for me, I won’t ask you anything even again after that.” 

She opened the box and looked through the crystals, looking for something Padmé was blind to, and eventually she put in Padmé’s hand two little kyber crystals. Padmé placed a hand against her mouth as tears swelled in the corner of her eyes.

“Please Padmé.”

“Please Ahsoka, don’t ask me that. They are my children, they… I can’t lose them too…”

“They are Anakin’s too. They  _ have  _ the Force. Have  _ faith _ , Padmé. You’re not fighting a mere tyranny controlled by a general or a– a  _ senator _ . They are  _ Sith Lords _ ! How many of your rebellion know that? How many can you trust with this information?” 

“What about the other Jedi? Why won’t you take care of this?” 

“Because we have already lost!” Ahsoka shouted. 

To have such confession from this war-like overconfident overprotective girl… Padmé gulped and lowered her head. 

“I will see what I can do… I’ll try.” 

“Alright,” Ahsoka whispered. “Okay. Thank you.” Her gratitude was genuine.

For a moment Padmé wondered what happened to her all these years.

“I will bring this back with me, see that they arrive safely at their addresses. As for the rest… I’ve never seen this box in my life.” 

Ahsoka’s eyes sparkled with amusement. “Of course you haven’t. Why would you?”

Despite the grim hour and grief and tiredness they both laughed and enjoyed little complicity that was left between them. After making sure she had recovered enough from her injuries Padmé left the place without looking back, afraid she wouldn’t have enough strength to go forward. Ahsoka had her own way to follow. Still, Padmé kept the laser blade in her pocket. 

Padmé arrived at the rebellion’s base two days later again, hoping she wasn’t too late. The superweapon wasn’t near ready to be launched but the sooner they stopped it, the better. 

When Padmé met with Mon Mothma the entire base was in turmoil. Soldiers were running and intel agents were frantic. Mon jumped at her.

“Where were you?! The weapon is functional!” 

“WHAT?!” 

“You left for  _ two weeks _ !”

“I couldn’t possibly expect the weapon to be ready, Mon! Our estimations didn’t count on it to be ready before next year at least!” 

“We were wrong. A defector brought the news to us. A team went to steal the plans but…”

Padmé gritted her teeth and cursed. A giant weapon was released in the galaxy, and the Empire could have a new level of fear even among the imperial senate. Padmé tightened her grip on the two kyber crystals hidden in her coat. 

“Where’s Leia?” she asked. “Where’s Luke?”

“We don’t have any news about Tatooine. As for the Organas… Bail left the base in a hurry. It was almost twenty-four hours ago, Padmé! Our army is being decimated on Scariff, the  _ Death Star _ is there as well and there’s nothing we can do to stop it! Jedha already fell against its might, and we fear they would target their database to protect their secrets from us… What are we supposed to do?” 

“I–I have to go to Alderaan. I won’t be of any use on the battlefield, and there’s no way I would arrive there in time. But the senate  _ has  _ to hear about this.” 

Mon nodded weakly and Padmé jumped in her ship, barely acknowledging her friend’s warnings. She made a hyperspace jump, but her heart was torn between going to Alderaan… Or leaving for Tatooine. After an intense dilemma, Padmé decided to send a message to Obi-Wan.

Luke answered. 

“Mom, where were you?!” 

“Luke?? Baby, what’s happening? Where’s Obi-Wan?” 

“He’s next to me, we found R2 and 3PO on Tatooine! Leia’s been kidnapped!” 

“WHAT?? What? How? When??”

This time it was Obi-Wan who replied. “We don’t know yet, Padmé. We’re en route for the Lars’, I have to tell Owen and Beru that we’re leaving. Then we’re off to Mos Eisley, we’re going to Alderaan through smuggling.” 

“Alright… Alright I’m… I’m doing the same… I guess we’ll see each other on Alderaan. Please,  _ please  _ Obi-Wan, be careful.” 

“I will, my dear. You do the same, alright?” 

Padmé cut the transmission and jumped immediately to Alderaan. She tried to contact Bail while doing so but received no answer.

“Oh, Bail, what were you thinking?” 

Finally, she arrived in the Alderaan system and sent an early request for landing. She cut the communication short when she spotted something unusual near Alderaan’s orbit. Like… A new satellite? A  _ moon _ ??

Padmé realized her mistake when said satellite charged up a beam of energy directly to Alderaan… Exploding it in millions pieces. 


	8. A new hope and new problems to add with that

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After seeing the destruction of Alderaan with her own eyes, Padmé has to face the Empire with the Rebellion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Okay! We're entering known territories! It's the movies! But... Padmé's there. So it's going to change.  
> Are you ready?

The newly born asteroids were drifting away from each other at a steady speed, the only proof of Alderaan’s existence leaving into space in front of Padmé’s eyes. 

There was nothing left. 

Untouched by the sudden change of gravity, the strange moon-like station was still hovering over the damages, an eerie sight in the middle of emptiness. But it would be only a matter of time before they saw her, Padmé fearfully thought. 

Without thinking, Padmé hid her ship from possible radars and landed on the other side of an asteroid, hoping to be invisible long enough to find a plan of escape. Alderaan was no more, and against such a weapon it wouldn’t be long before the Galactic Senate surrendered as well. Bail was dead, and on this moon-like satellite was her daughter, her princess, no doubt held captive by Darth Vader himself! What if he discovered who Leia was? What then? Would he kill her, or use her as leverage against Padmé? Would he _corrupt her_ to the Dark Side? 

Aware that she could do nothing on her own, and not knowing if she could reach Obi-Wan in time without being spotted, Padmé decided to leave the place while she still could. She didn’t need to be a Force User to know the Rebellion was their next target. With a scream of rage and frustration, Padmé punched the coordinate to Yavin IV and jumped. 

Padmé arrived quickly on the Rebel base, and she ran into the already busy corridors, pushing aside the soldiers too slow to react. She was panting under her mask, feeling the damages of her week of coma on her muscles, but she kept going until she reached the control room. 

“They destroyed Alderaan!” She shouted as she entered the large room, her words even louder with the mask. “They exploded the planet!” 

Three seconds were all it took for Mon to process the information, and she immediately barked orders left and right to prepare for the regroupment of the Rebellion and the preparation of a potential evacuation if they were to be found. Padmé hoped Yavin IV would be alright. She had come to like the place. 

Obi-Wan’s radio stayed silent, and Padmé's numerous attempts to contact him failed. It had been shut down, she knew, which meant they were either in trouble or about to be. Her son was with the Jedi. Both of her children’s lives were now between Obi-Wan’s hands, and there was nothing she could do. 

“How are you holding up?” Mon’s voice echoed behind her. Padmé jumped and sighed under her mask.

“Badly,” she confessed. “You?” 

“Badly.” The senator in exile sat near her, away from the noise of the room. “I have a hard time– I can’t believe Bail is _dead_ , you know? I can’t.” 

“It’s always the best who leave first,” Padmé sniffed.

“Good news for us, then,” Mon casually said. 

Padmé rolled her eyes but laughed at this poorly timed joke, and she gently pushed her friend who pushed her back. Once they stopped chuckling, the air still stank with grief, but a little less despair. They were both tired of losing people, but they weren’t defeated yet. Not yet.

“So what’s the plan, Tooka?” 

“I– Uh, Leia has been captured by the Empire but… Obi-Wan is on it.” She tried to hide her fear. “Luke is with him, so are R2 and 3PO. Once they’re back we should… have the plans of the _Death Star_ and prepare for an attack, find this weakness Erso talked about. Right?” 

“Right. But this means our hands are tied until they arrive. We can’t do this. What about an evacuation?” 

“No, it’s likely they will be followed. If we leave, they won’t know where to bring the plans and they will be an easy target. Not only do we put them at risk, but we also lose the plans.”

“Yes. Damn.” Mon chewed one of her nails with a frown. “I have an idea.” 

And while they meticulously prepared for an evacuation _just in case_ , Padmé and Mon assigned teams to scatter their resources around, in the numerous secret bases they placed in the galaxy. 

The ship landing in the port was _garbage_. A battered Corellian light freighter with no evacuation pod, a relic of what was one of the most elegant ships ever. 

Scrunching her nose under her mask, Padmé walked closer to the ramp as it lowered with an eerie noise. It needed repairs. Luke and Leia rushed out of the ship and into her arms, and Padmé hugged them tightly and breathed deeply against them. Alive. Her two treasures were alive and well. They stayed huddled against each other for a long time until eventually she had to let go. She stepped back but kept their hands in hers. 

“Are you unhurt?” She asked. 

“We’re fine,” Leia assured her. “Where have you been?” 

“Complicated story. I swear I will tell you in due time.” She frowned. “Where is Obi-Wan?” 

As Leia immediately dropped her gaze, Luke let escape a sniff betraying held tears. 

“I’m sorry, I– He went against Darth Vader and he…” 

Padmé hugged her son again, she knew how dearly Luke loved Obi-Wan. Another weight to put on her shoulders, but Padmé couldn’t let her sorrow out in the open; her children needed her to be strong. Bail, Obi-Wan… This day held a heavy toll of death. 

A voice resounded behind them, near the battered ship, and Padmé snapped her head at the sound of a Wookiee. A human voice answered. 

“And how is that our problem?! We get paid, we get out, job done!” 

Padmé let go of Luke as Leia groaned in annoyance at the stranger. Padmé asked.

“And who might you be? Be quick, we don’t have much time.” 

“I’m Han Solo, I saved your princess and you owe me half of the paym– You’re the Blue Tooka, right?” 

“You’re a smuggler,” Padmé said. There was no question in her tone. 

She looked at the Wookiee behind the man named Solo. Though she hadn’t seen a Wookiee in a while, she was always good at differentiating members of the same species. This one, she had heard of, by Obi-Wan himself. He was Chewbacca from Kashyyyk, a war hero of the Clone Wars. Why was this human speaking louder than him? Padmé looked at Solo with new eyes through her mask. Maybe there was more, under this appearance of an uneducated scoundrel. She turned towards a soldier of the Rebellion. 

“Guide him to the control rooms and give him his payment. Be quick. We don’t have time to lose.” She suspiciously eyes the smuggler, but he simply shrugged. 

The soldier saluted her before leaving with Solo and Chewbacca, and at Padmé’s surprise Leia followed them, asking Solo to wait then bickering with him as they went away. Padmé turned to her son to ask for answers, but he simply shrugged and looked at the ground. Padmé felt a pang of pain in her heart for her son, he was so _hurt_ by Obi-Wan’s death… Unlike her, he had nothing to hide his grief and anger. Padmé went closer to him.

“If you have something to say–” 

“He was a Jedi,” Luke bitterly interrupted her. 

“... Yes.” 

“He was a Jedi and he died as one. I have the Force and you hid it from me!” 

Padmé nervously played with the crystals in her pocket. Not now, too soon, not the right time. “I simply wanted to protect you.” 

“If I had known, I could’ve– I could’ve been trained! By Obi-Wan! I could have saved him!” 

“From who?! _Darth Vader_?”

Luke said nothing. He knew as much as her how stupid that sounded. But he wasn’t less hurt. Padmé sighed and slid her arm under his to lead him to the hangars. 

“Sometimes we have to make difficult choices, Luke. They don’t sound good, sometimes they’re not. But the other choices are worse. I mourn and weep for Obi-Wan has much as you do, he was family, he was my _brother_ . I loved him. I know you did, too. But Jedi training or not, Force or not, there is _nothing_ you could have done to save him.” She stopped near the X-Wings. “He made his choice, I made mine. I can see you making yours.” 

Around them, the pilots were already running to their ships and checking their state, their droids, their friends. An alarm was blaring around them, so loud it seemed surreal. Luke looked around him, unsure and uncomfortable. He threw a glance at the starfighters, and Padmé knew what he was thinking. Eventually Luke looked at her. 

“Are you going to stop me from joining the fight?”

“No,” she simply said. 

She took her mask off to kiss her son on the forehead, and she put it back on.

“I can’t stop you from doing anything anymore. I lost that power. So go, my boy. May the Force be with you.” 

Luke hugged her one last time before following the other soldiers in the hangar, like he belonged with them, like he was a veteran fighter and not a nineteen years old baby boy sheltered from everything by an overprotective mother. Padmé held her tears and joined the officers in the control room where the plan was explained to everyone. The fight had begun. 

Padmé stood near her daughter, who barely acknowledged her as her eyes were focused on the screen, following the ship in fight and the eerie advance of the _Death Star_. They weren’t in line of sight, the giant sun shielding them from the blast. But it wouldn’t be long before the Empire had a clear shot. Leia seemed to know exactly what was going on as she barked orders and kept a sharp eye on the screen. Padmé looked at her. First Luke, now her, Force, her children had grown up so much without her noticing. 

“What’s the report, princess?” Padmé kept as professional as she could.

“Not… good,” Leia confessed. “Our target is narrow, and they sent TIEs to protect it. We’re losing soldiers.” 

“Where’s that smuggler of yours?” 

This time Leia threw a quick glance at her. “Gone like the coward he is.” 

Padmé looked at the screen too. Another ship went down without having managed to shoot in the thermal exhaust port. Mon started the evacuation of the engineers along with the supplies, and the base became frantic outside of the control room. It was now a matter of minutes before the _Death Star_ would be able to shoot them down. Padmé briefly wondered if Bail felt it when it happened, or if everything went so fast it had been painless…

Leia pushed an exclamation of surprise and pointed at another ship, one unknown to the fight. 

The Corellian freighter had appeared from nowhere to help in the fight against the Empire, shooting TIE after TIE, taunting Vader around the _Death Star_ and saving the remaining starfighters. In the control room, some cheers and applauded, and Padmé caught a smile on her daughter’s face.

“Maybe there’s more in him than crude jokes and greed…” Leia said. 

“Careful, young girl,” Padmé warned. That man was so not worthy of her princess.

Despite this miraculous help from the smuggler, the _Death Star_ was still closer and closer to them. They had to do something before–

“Red5? Red5, your auto-aim is off. Red–Luke? Luke, hello??” 

Padmé gasped and pushed the man holding the radio. Oh, no, that couldn’t be…

“Luke?!” 

In the sky above the base, before their eyes, the _Death Star_ exploded in millions pieces like a firework for the whole world to witness. There first was a shocked silence, then everyone in the base burst into cheers and laughter and applause. On the radio, the excited voice of Luke resounded.

“I got it! I did it!” 

“Great shot, kid! That was one in a million!” Han replied in the same channel. 

Leia laughed and Padmé sobbed tears of joy and relief under her tooka mask. 

Leia and Padmé rushed to the hangars to greet the pilots who risked their lives to stop the _Death Star_ . There were many to mourn, but their death wasn’t in vain. They had destroyed the _Death Star_. Padmé hugged Luke once again as Leia went to greet Solo. 

“I am so proud of you, Luke! And so relieved to see you alive!” 

“Don’t worry too much,” Luke laughed, “I am the best pilot in the galaxy!” All the other pilots laughed with him, there was no mockery.

“Yes, you are,” Padmé said with a smile. “And as of today you are a true hero of the Rebellion, with a medal and everything.” 

Luke cheered and joined the other pilots. Padmé let him do with a happy sigh.

Mon prepared the ceremony with a lot of care and only a hint of sadness for not being able to stay for the whole celebration as she needed to warn the other bases and soldiers of the next steps of the war. Leia would be the one to congratulate the new heroes, three names to add to the pantheon of the Rebellion. Padmé cornered Solo and Chewbacca to meet them properly, because she had to. They would be part of the Rebellion after their deeds, whether they wanted it or not. 

“Solo, may I have a moment of your time?” She asked. 

“Ah, uh, sure. Why not.” He was checking on his… ship. “So you’re… Big deal, right?” 

“Right. And you deliberately came back to save the Rebellion, risking your life in the process. For this, I thank you genuinely. I also want you to know that, would you be part of the Rebellion, you’d be welcome.” 

Han stayed silent for a moment, turning his tool between his hands. Eventually he sighed. 

“I’m not sure this is a good idea. We’re good on our own, after all. Right, Chewie?” 

‘Chewie’ simply replied that it was Han’s idea to come back in the first place, and Han winced before turning the Padmé with a smile. He attempted a lie Padmé immediately saw.

“He said–” 

“I know what he said. I am, after all, fluent in Shyriiwook.” 

“Oh.”

Chewbacca barked a laugh. 

“Anyway, the commander Organa…” the name brought its wave of grief, “... seems to have faith in you, so… So will I. I trust you will _at least_ stay for the ceremony, and that you won’t leave without your medal. In the meantime, please think about my proposition. I am serious.” 

“”Well, listen, uh, how am I supposed to call you?” 

“Blue Tooka, like everyone else. Tooka. Blue.” She kept a straight face under the mask. He was funny. 

“Okay, _Blue_ , I’ll think about it. Damn.” 

“Marvelous. Now, May I have a word with Chewbacca? Alone?” 

While the idea didn’t seem to please Han, Chewbacca agreed, and so the smuggler left them alone with a grumble. Padmé gestured at the Wookiee to walk with her, and he accepted. They went away from the frenzy of the victorious base.

“Though you may not know me, for you had more important matters to attend to at that time, I am aware of your name and your deeds during the Clone Wars.” 

Chewbacca growled but didn’t deny it. There was surprise in his tone, mingled with sadness.

“You saved Yoda when the clones betrayed the Jedi. For this sacrifice I cannot thank you enough. This medal you will receive is nothing worth what you deserve. But I _have_ to ask. Why didn’t you join the Rebellion? Why follow a smuggler?” 

A sharp Wookiee laugh escaped Chewbacca’s fanged mouth, then he stayed silent for a moment. Padmé’s patience got rewarded after almost five minutes, and she still had all her limbs on after having doubted a Wookiee’s honor. It was a win. 

Chewbacca talked. He talked about the massacre on Kashyyyk, the enslavement of the Wookiees like mere non-sentient animals. He talked about the struggle for survival, the hopeless wait for help. He then asked where the Rebellion was during these almost twenty years of exploitation of his people, and Padmé had nothing to answer. Though it was true that Kashyyyk was on their list of planets to rescue, they never acted on it. Chewbacca told her he never regretted saving Yoda, never regretted fighting alongside the Jedi. But he was done with those fights, fighting for bigger concern than his closest friends’ lives. Of course coming back to the _Death Star_ and helping the Rebellion was the right thing to do. Padmé knew that despite the idea having been Solo’s, probably Chewbacca felt the same. The Wookiee were proud, fierce and honorable. They never backed down from a fight. He asked her to keep the medal, also, and Padmé accepted with reluctance. Wookiees never cared for medals. 

They walked together a little more, but they kept silent. There was nothing more they could exchange without opening old wounds. Eventually Chewbacca left her to check on the repairs on his ship, but he assured her one more time that he had nothing against the Rebellion. If they had to fight together, he would be there. Padmé followed him until they reached the hangar, but she stopped at the door as the Wookiee went for the freighter where Solo was. Padmé’s children were with him too, getting ready for the ceremony. 

With a lot of pride, and just a little bit of jealousy against the smuggler, Padmé made herself scarce during the festivities, letting Luke and Leia enjoy their first victory as rebel soldiers. 

Against all odds, Solo stayed after the medal offering, and he even offered his help with moving everything from one base to another. Mon was glad for that, they needed all the help they could get. Leia seemed happy with that, too, and Padmé wasn’t blind to the exchanged glances and smiles, and the way Leia acted with that man. Though she was leading the dance, her daughter was slowly falling for that scoundrel. 

The Rebellion settled on Hoth, on Mon’s orders. The climate was… difficult, if not impossible, and the food supplies were rare. Padmé wasn’t a fan of the idea. The only bright side was that they were invisible. With the attack on the _Death Star_ , the Empire had become more violent and vindictive against them. The Emperor was livid on his last apparition in the holos. 

Padmé inspected the icy corridors of the caves as the soldiers unpacked their tools and devices. It wouldn’t be comfortable for the rebels, at least as long as they don’t have enough generators to warm the entirety of the complex. So Padmé decided to lead a troop to the outside to bring back snow and transform some of the largest caves into villages of igloos, hoping it would cheer the crew and warm them to sleep. It worked, for most of the soldiers found the idea fun and cute, but Padmé didn’t know for how long it would last. 

“You know, mother,” Leia told her in the intimacy of Padmé’s shuttle as Padmé was looking at the maps, “This place isn’t so bad. They don’t mind.” 

“Don’t they, though?” Padmé absentmindedly replied. “Half of the rooms have yet to be warmed, we don’t have power everywhere. I don’t want them to fall sick.” 

“They won’t. We’re working on it. Luke left to find generators to bring back, and in a few weeks we should be good. We’re hoping to keep the cold only in the hangars by the end of the month.” 

“I was hoping to find a nicer long-term hideout,” Padmé eventually sighed. 

“This one is perfect. We can last, here. It’s not too far, not to close, we have a direct path through the galaxy without raising any alarm… It will be good.” 

Padmé shut the maps down. She took her mask off and looked at her daughter. Despite everything that had happened in the last few days, Leia was always strong and hopeful. Padmé envied her. Padmé also knew not to fall into that kind of dreams again. She chased off her dark feelings and focused on her daughter.

“What about you, Leia? How are you holding up? Sharing warmth with that scoundrel?” 

Leia gasped. “Mother!” 

“Don’t lie to me, _daughter_ , I’m not blind! So? Did you?” 

“I–It’s–You… Yes.” 

“I knew it.” Padmé sighed again, this time more dramatically. “He’s not…” What she hoped for her daughter. “You be careful, will you, dear?” 

Leia smiled a little. “Yes, mother. Besides, I’m not sure this will last. It’s temporary.” 

Padmé threw an inquisitive look at Leia. She hoped so. These two, could this lead to something other than disaster?

“Still, he’s _old_.” 

“ _Mother_!!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Momma Padmé will always look out for her children


	9. I remember of days so long in the past when I wished you wouldn't grow up so fast.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the midst of the open war between the Rebellion and the Galactic Empire, after the destruction of the Death Star, our rebels hide in the heart of the ice planet Hoth. But the Empire upturns the entire galaxy to stop the Rebellion, and they're getting close...   
> Padmé sees her children growing in the middle of the war, growing away from her.

Padmé got up from her bed with difficulty, groaning at the dull headache settled under her scalp. She was becoming too old for the sleepless nights and overdoses of caf. Putting on her heavy clothes, she checked the general temperature of the base before leaving her private room. It had been three years since they moved to Hoth, and they had only one generator failure. But Padmé still checked every day since. 

She walked in the base to make sure everyone was alright, answering the ‘Morning, Tooka!’ and ‘Hello, Blue!’ with bows of her head and waves. The highest ranked officer in the base was Leia, closely followed by Luke who earned his fair share of medals during these three years. Padmé– Well, the  _ Blue Tooka _ was just a support, a good presence in the base, but she held no military rank whatsoever. She liked it better that way.

In the hangar, she found Leia in a heated conversation with Chewbacca. If Padmé was too far to hear what her daughter was saying, the Wookiee’s roars made it clear it was about Han Solo  _ again _ . Padmé sighed. She had hoped the years would dim the attraction, but those two had been more vehement about this ‘I love you’ ‘neither do I’ kind of heated… thing… as time passed. Padmé walked closer.

“What are you two shouting about?” She asked. 

“Han has been outside of his scouting perimeter  _ again _ ,” Leia said with frustration. “He claimed he spotted a probe droid but… That excuses nothing!” 

“And you’re yelling for  _ this _ ?” Padmé rolled her eyes under her mask. “Leia, correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Solo able to take care of himself?”

Chewbacca agreed with a short laugh, but Leia only folded her arms. 

“This idiot is going to get someone -or himself- killed, one day.” 

“Maybe,” Padmé shrugged. Leia’s concerns weren’t hers anymore. She was just tired to hear this broken record. “Where’s Luke?” 

“Outside, too. Finishing his patrol.” 

“Alright, tell me when they’re back, I need to speak with them.” 

Leia accepted with only a hint of frustration. Padmé had better concern; a storm was rising. 

When the storm hit the base, only Han was back from the cold and unforgiving outside. Padmé rushed towards him as he was unstrapping his gloves with a grumble against the weather. Padmé kept as professional as she could. She couldn’t let her anxiety be seen.

“A probe droid?” She asked immediately.

“Hello to you too, Blue. Yes, I’m fine, thanks.” She didn’t laugh, he cleared his throat. “Yes, a probe droid. Nasty thing, but I don’t think it’s that serious. Well… At least that means Imperial activities in the system. Think they spotted us?” 

“Then we must prepare for a possible evacuation. Talk about this with the general while we wait for Luke to come back.” 

Han stopped and frowned. “You mean he hasn’t? He was supposed to come to the South entrance before me!” 

“I  _ know _ , Solo. But he hasn’t. He’s not answering his com either.” The situation wasn’t good, but she wasn’t allowed to put the Rebellion in Jeopardy for one man, even if he was  _ her son _ . That was why she came to see Han. She knew exactly what he was going to say. And he didn’t disappoint her.

“WHAT? But there’s a storm outside!” He turned toward Leia and Chewie who arrived running at his shouts. They were waiting for Luke too. 

“We can’t send a patrol, it’s too dangerous!” Leia said defiantly. “The tauntauns won’t survive this cold!” 

“Nah, screw this,” Han said. “I’m going. M’gonna bring him back, close behind me if you want.” 

And just like that he jumped on a tauntaun and left the base, and the rebels had no choice but to close behind him indeed. Chewbacca roared in sadness, afraid of never seeing his best friend again. Leia turned to her mother who was still and silent, her mask turned towards the door. 

“You did it on purpose,” Leia said accusingly, for Padmé only to hear. “You knew what he was going to do. Now both of them are in danger.” 

Padmé didn’t answer, her eyes stubbornly locked on the door. 

Neither Padmé nor Leia slept this night, both huddled against each other in Padmé’s bed, waiting for a message, for  _ something  _ through the radio. Wedge had told them he’d lead a squadron to try and find them once the storm would be over. But not many in the base had hope of finding them alive. The year before, they had already lost good men in a storm. 

In the morning, four pilots jumped in their starfighters to scout the land and try to find the two missing officers. Ground control stayed on edge the whole search, bracing themselves for the upcoming news, for  _ something _ . And eventually it happened. One of the pilots found them, and brought Han and Luke home. 

Padmé hadn’t felt this much relief in a long time. Her son was alive. She ran into the corridors to reach the hangars, and met the pilots as they were leading the two officers to the medbay. Luke had severe frostbite and contusions, as if he got into a fight. But it couldn’t be the Empire or he would be dead, or in Vader’s hands. For the moment he was safe and sound and taken care of in the medbay and that was all that mattered for Padmé. After having been submerged in bacta they settled him in a bed, and Padmé stayed at Luke’s side until he woke up. She had left her mask on her lap in the privacy of the medbay, and she smiled at Luke when he woke up from his slumber. 

“Mother…” Luke said with a mumble, but he then looked around quickly, worried he blew up Padmé’s cover.

“It’s alright, dear, we’re alone,” Padmé reassured him. “You gave us a fright.” 

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I found an Imperial droid and warned Han and then I– I got  _ attacked  _ by a Wampa! He dragged me into his pit to eat me. I saved myself but– Mother?”

Padmé got up from her chair to sit on the bed, closer to her son, so she could hug him and comfort him. She needed it, too. “Yes?” 

“I saw Obi-Wan…” He caught himself when he saw her alarmed look. “Like a vision! He told me I needed to go to… Dagobah? To meet a master Jedi named Yoda. Does this speak to you?” 

Padmé gulped with difficulties. Just as she was about to lie, Han, Chewbacca and Leia entered the room to see Luke. Padmé put her mask back on her face before they could see her, and she left the room to let Luke see his friends. She didn’t need the Force to feel his glare piercing her back as she fled. 

She couldn’t ignore what Luke told her. Her encounter with Ahsoka was coming back to her, the Togrutan’s predictions were taking shape. Padmé couldn’t prevent this. The Force itself wouldn’t let her do. And the more Luke was proving himself to be Jedi material, the more convinced Padmé was that Vader  _ knew _ . He just… knew. And in the end, preventing Luke from learning how to defend himself was not doing him any good. If Vader was after him, then yes. Luke needed to meet Yoda. It was Padmé’s responsibility to protect Luke, even if that meant letting him go away. Padmé’s heart broke a little. 

Padmé’s heart broke a little more when she heard that Han was intending on leaving the Rebellion, and that the entire base knew because it had provoked a fight between Leia and him. So this man was going to disappear into the wilderness, after all. Leia’s outraged despair and hidden broken feels were painful to watch. But it seemed Han and Chewbacca had made their mind.

Then the news arrived. The Empire had found them.

It was getting worse and worse. 

At least it kept Han grounded. 

Leia ran to Padmé as the base started to prepare for the evacuation.

“Mother, you  _ have _ to leave!” 

“What?! And leaving you alone?”

“We need someone to reach Mon and build the next hideout,” Leia pragmatically said. “To do so, you need to arrive at the rendezvous point first.  _ Please _ ,” she then pleaded. “Will you be in the first launch? Please?” 

Padmé paced back and forth, weighing her options. The war was about to begin, Luke was already running for his starfighter with R2D2, and she knew this stubborn child’s destination wouldn’t be the rendezvous point. On the other hand, her kids were strong and capable on their own. 

“Alright, you win,” she sighed. “But please be careful. Be safe. Join me soon.” 

“I will. I love you.” 

They embraced each other one last time, and eventually Padmé gathered up the strength to let go of her daughter and go to the hangars. 

The trip to the rendezvous point, hidden near Sullust, seemed endless, and all the crew waited anxiously to reach the destination. They were the first to have abandoned the battle on Hoth, and none of them were feeling good about that. How many of them would manage to flee the planet safely, she couldn’t know. And at least  _ one  _ would be targeted by the Empire, and the best that could happen would be for this ship to be taken down. 

“Blue, we’re approaching the destination,” the pilot suddenly called her. “But I’m not– should we go to it directly?” 

“You think we’re followed?” Padmé asked, the voice distortion hiding her concern. “This is unlikely, especially in hyperspace.” 

“You’d take the risk?” He asked back, turning his head to her. 

Padmé looked at him for a moment, studying the tiredness in his features, the tension in his muscles. The fear of losing everything became more present. But Padmé only feared for her children still on Hoth.

“Yes,” she said. “We have stalled long enough,  _ captain _ . You bring these people home.” 

He wasn’t happy with the answer. She knew it. But he didn’t argue longer, and muttered a ‘yes’ before resuming their course. Padmé settled next to him in silence.

When the ship arrived at the rendezvous point, Padmé was more than surprised to see the whole rebel fleet orbiting around a dwarf planet, with the  _ Home One _ . After asking for clearance they got invited onboard. Mon herself was waiting for them in the hangar. They hugged each other tightly in the middle of the starfighters. It has been many months since they had seen each other… Mon had stayed hidden the whole war, gathering all of the Intel of the Rebellion and redistributing it between their many dispatches. To see her ready to be in the heart of the battle was a first, after all, she was more of a senator than a general. But there she was. She looked worn and tired, but genuinely happy to be there. The leader of the Rebellion smiled widely at Padmé.

“It has been so long, my friend.” She led Padmé out of the hangar to find a quiet place to talk, far from prying ears. “I’m sorry about Hoth. How are Luke and Leia?” 

“Still fighting, still kicking. They get into a lot of trouble, though,” Padmé replied with a smile as she removed her mask. “Luke won’t show up at the rendezvous point, I’m afraid. He has… a mission of his own to complete.” 

“Oh, that sounds dangerous. Is it dangerous?” 

“Jedi-ish,” Padmé dropped with a bitter tone. “I’m not allowed to interfere, nor am I allowed to know more.” 

Mon threw a sympathetic glance at her, but she kept silent until Padmé was fully settled in one of the large chairs in the room. 

“Kids, they grow up so fast.” 

“Yes, and we are getting  _ old _ ,” Padmé retorted dramatically.

They both laughed, enjoying this short moment of carefree innocence.

“We’re not that old, come on!” Mon eventually replied when the laughs dimmed. 

“Just a bit.” 

“Just a bit.” 

A droid entered the room with warm drinks it offered to the two women, before seeking Mon’s attention. After a sip of the tea Mon turned to it.

“Yes?” 

“I am happy to announce that almost all the shuttles and starfighters of the Rebellion from Hoth have successfully arrived at the rendezvous point! Only two active ships haven’t replied.”

“Who is missing?” Mon asked, getting up at the same time as Padmé.

“Luke Skywalker is unfortunately unreachable,” the droid stated. “So is the Corellian freighter ‘ _ Millennium Falcon _ ’ and all of its crew.” 

“What?!” Padmé shouted. She turned to Mon. “Leia’s with Solo, I’m sure of it! So now both of them are missing! Can we track the  _ Millennium Falcon _ ?” 

“We never placed a tracker of the Rebellion on it. So if we can then so can the Empire,” Mon replied. 

“Oh Force.” Padmé sat down on the chair again. Mon was right, the  _ Millennium Falcon _ was too infamous, if they could find it that meant other people could too, maybe faster than them. 

Mon sat next to her. “What we can do, however, is track down Leia. If she still has her uniform then we should be able to find her.” 

“The transmitter?” Padmé asked. “Yes, that could work… With hope they’re not in the uncharted territories, then that could work!” 

Jumping on her feet, Padmé put her mask back on and bolted out of the room, running to the control room. She entered it out of breath and kicked a rebel out of his seat to try and track the Millennium herself. Her efforts were rewarded by the faint but steady ticking of Leia’s transmitter.

“Where are they?” Mon asked as she arrived behind her.

“Bespin,” Padmé said, studying the map with a frown. “I don’t– Why are they on Bespin?” 

“You want to go check,” Mon then told her after a silence. It wasn’t a question.

“... Yes. I would like that very much.” 

“What about Luke?” 

“My best guess is he won’t be back for a while. He knows of the rendezvous point and with the best luck he won’t come back alone.”

Mon looked at her without a word for a few seconds that felt like an eternity for Padmé. Padmé stayed silent, waiting for the leader of the Rebellion to make a decision. If Mon decided she was needed here, she would stay. But she was praying really hard for a yes.

“You can go,” Mon eventually said. “But you’re going alone.” 

“I wouldn’t have done otherwise.” Padmé assured her. “Thank you, my friend.” 

“Stay safe, come back. When you do, bring Leia and her band of troublemakers with you, I have work for them.” 

They exchanged a chuckle and Padmé left the room.

The trip to Bespin had been fast and discreet, in an unmarked starfighter so she could keep it under the radar. No need for the whole planet to know the Rebellion was there. According to Leia’s transmitter they were in Cloud City, a mining outpost controlled by an infamous former bandit named Calrissian. The word ‘former’ was probably a shameless lie. Padmé wondered if the  _ Millennium Falcon _ ended there because Calrissian was a friend of Solo. What she found at Cloud City made her change her mind about this: The Empire was there.

Padmé dropped her ship on a small landing deck and destroyed all evidence of it being a rebel ship, frying its software to make sure no one could find where it came from. She then fled the area before stormtroopers could arrive to check her accreditations. Though it was dangerous and stupid and she should have left to warn the Rebellion, Padmé couldn’t leave her daughter in enemy territory. Not again. 

Padmé walked in the shadows through the city, witnessing with fear the imperial army in the street. The hold of the Empire was new in the city, she noticed. Maybe she could reach the palace safely. 

“Hey, you! You can’t be here!” A voice echoed behind Padmé as she was forcing one of the doors of Calrissian’s palace to enter.

Padmé stopped with a hiccup, and she immediately turned to face the man, her gun in hands. But she didn’t shoot. It was a young man, a human, no older than Tai-Ki had been. He was dragging a broken cleaning droid behind him, and she understood he was a technician. As for him, he recognized who she was the second she faced him. He gasped. 

“You’re the  _ Blue Tooka _ ?!” 

“You might want to say that louder,” Padmé said with a grit of her teeth.

“Oh no! Sorry, sorry! I’m just… I–I’m a huge fan!”

One less thing to worry about, then. Padmé relaxed a little. “Do you know why the Empire is here?” 

“Oh, yeah, they want to strike a deal with mr. Calrissian, about our resources, but  _ I  _ say this is about fear because Darth Vader is here and Darth Vader doesn’t come to talk busin–”

“Darth Vader is  _ here _ ?!” 

A noise echoed not far from them, and the boy opened the door Padmé was vandalizing to hurry her inside. They rushed in the halls to try and find a hiding place, and eventually they settled for a set of clean public toilets. Padmé shushed her new friend as footsteps resounded behind the door. Judging by the sound, it was troopers alright, unless Calrissian had an army of fully armored men wandering in his palace. Just to make sure of what was happening, Padmé opened the door just a little to peer through the creak. 

Her breath got caught in her throat. 

There he was. Tall and sinister, all draped in black, dead inside the armor. He had stopped mere meters away from her hiding place.

Darth Vader. 


	10. Can you feel it in the air? Our love, forgotten in an empty drawer next to the cherished memories?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trapped on Bespin, only meters away from Darth Vader, Padmé must find a way to save her daughter and escape the treacherous claws of the Empire.  
> Darker times are coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tenth chapter, only one more to go!   
> I hope you're still enjoying this

Padmé stopped breathing behind the door, unable to look away from Darth Vader’s frame. He had his back turned to her, but he slightly raised his head to breathe in the air, looking for something invisible to simple humans, looking for  _ one  _ particular fragrance in the Force.  _ Hers _ , Padmé realised. No matter how he managed that, he seemed aware of her presence. Padmé was petrified. 

A hand grabbed her and she almost punched whoever scared her out of her mind, but the boy simply told her to stay quiet, before gesturing at one of the stalls. They both hid inside and looked for a ventilation shaft. They had to get out of there quickly before Darth Vader decided to investigate further. While the boy unscrewed the vent panel, Padmé threw a glance at the door. It filled her with grief. Had the creature in black something left of her sweet husband? Unfortunately she couldn’t take the time to wallow in self pity, for her children needed her. She followed the boy through the ventilation and escaped the place.

“Phew! That was close!” The boy said as he jumped in another room. “This man is scary! Are you okay?” 

“I am,” Padmé replied, dusting her clothes. “I thank you for this. Tell me, is there a man called Han Solo here?” 

The boy thought about it. “Yeah, I think so. A man accompanied by a Wookiee and a woman? They’re mr. Calrissian’s guests, have been so for… two days, now? They’ve been keeping to themselves on the other part of the palace, mr. Calrissian doesn’t want the Empire to go there. He doesn’t want  _ us  _ either.” 

“This is a trap,” Padmé understood. “Damn it all! I have to warn them!” 

“If this is true, you can’t go! They would capture you too!” 

She thought about it, then cussed again. He was right. So she had to reach Calrissian instead, to free Leia and Chewbacca and Han, and to get to the  _ Millennium Falcon _ before  _ Vader  _ could stop them, stop her. She looked at her new friend, considered him for a moment. 

“Can you go to Calrissian and arrange a meeting between us?” 

“Are you… Giving me a real rebel mission?” His eyes shone. 

He looked so much like Tai Ki… “Yes, I am. Can you do it?” 

“Ah! You bet I can! Stay here! I’ll be right back!” 

The boy bolted out of the room, this time using the door. Padmé found herself alone and anxious. She looked around her and tried to make sense of her environment, but the white and empty room could have been either a spare room or a giant closet and she would have no idea. She came to terms with waiting for the boy to return, not taking any chance with visiting the palace alone. But the wait was painful, especially knowing how close to Vader she was. How close to Anakin. Her heart skipped a beat. 

All this time, all these years, Padmé had managed to stay away from him, to make sure there was at least one system between them. And at this moment, one of the most critical of all, as she was trying to save her daughter, and the Rebellion was planning one final attack against the Empire… She had never been this close to Darth Vader since the day he choked her on Mustafar. Had he sensed her? Recognized her? What if he had, then? What would happen? Would he kill her? Could she foolishly try to turn him back? 

The door flung open, dragging her out of her thoughts, and she drew her blaster to shoot.

“Don’t!” The boy said, raising his hands. “It’s me! I have terrible news!” 

“Speak quickly!” Padmé urged him.

“Mr. Calrissian gave mr. Solo, the Wookiee and the lady to Darth Vader! There’s bounty hunters in the palace! They dragged them, your friends, to the prisons.” 

“Oh, no, I am too late!” Padmé paced in the room. “I  _ need  _ to speak with Calrissian!” She stopped. “I thought he wasn’t an Imperial sympathiser.” 

“He’s not,” the boy confirmed. “I don’t know, he must have a good reason…” 

“Bring me to him,” Padmé demanded. 

He led her to another room, making sure they didn’t meet any trooper in the way, and he showed her all of the escape ways before leaving to go get Calrissian. 

Padmé anxiously waited for what seemed like a light year in this empty room in a dangerous castle. For a moment she feared the boy had been captured, that he never made it to Calrissian, or worse, that Calrissian had sold him to the Empire, to Darth Vader. Maybe Vader would storm in the room instead of the palace’s owner. Would he kill her? But when the door opened it did on the boy, unharmed and followed by no other than Calrissian himself. The man was draped in an elegant purple cape, and he was wearing a charming smile from ear to ear as he closed the door behind him. He didn’t fool Padmé. The thin layer of sweat on his brows, the darting of his eyes… He was stressed. He was afraid. 

“Well, hello to you, stranger breaking into my house! It seems you know me, so you have me at a disadvantage.” 

Padmé composed herself. She wanted to slap him in the face for what he had done. But she needed to be diplomatic more than ever. 

“I am the Blue Tooka, and I represent the Rebellion to you. Today, you sold three members of the Rebellion to the Empire.” She let the words sink in and looked as Calrissian slightly lost his smile. Just slightly. “Your boy here told me you weren’t an imperial sympathizer. So why did you do that?” No answer. “Is it to protect your wealth? No, this is for your city, your people. Darth Vader tricked you into a deal you couldn’t refuse.” 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Lando simply said. 

“Oh, I know too well. I also know you offered on a silver plate to the Empire two generals of the Rebellion and you knew exactly what you were doing. Do you think I’m stupid? Let me spare you the waiting: Darth Vader will alter the deal. And he will keep doing so over and over again until you have nothing left but your eyes and your tears. When that moment comes, and it will, I want you to remember that you have a friend waiting for you in the shadows, and a choice to make.” 

The man stared at her with an unreadable expression on his face. His eyes darted back and forth on the features of her mask. The boy kept silent behind them. Eventually Lando turned around and walked away without a word. The door closed behind him, leaving the two conspirators in the room. The boy looked at Padmé.

“Do you think he’s going to…” He then gestured at the door. 

“No, I don’t think so,” Padmé replied. “It wouldn’t be in his interests to sell us to the Empire. Now, quick, bring me out of this place. The spacio-port. We have to plan an escape.” 

The  _ Millennium Falcon _ was landed in the spaceport, as close as possible to Lando’s palace. This spot was for the owner or his honored guests, in a more private part of the palaces. To Padmé’s surprise, the battered ship was taken care of by droids and engineers, in the middle of being fixed as best as this garbage could be. So that was what happened, Padmé thought. Leia and Solo and Chewbacca didn’t manage to escape Hoth’s system. The fact that Lando was still fixing the ship despite him being too busy betraying his friends was a good thing: they had a way of getting out of there. 

“I’m going to free the ship, Can you go and see what’s happening inside?” Padmé asked the boy. 

“Of course!” He saluted her and jumped from their hiding place, running to the palace unnoticed by the guards.

Stealthily, Padmé went closer to the ship to make sure it was truly repaired and not actually sabotaged. But it seemed Lando handled it with a lot of care. Fixed, washed, repaired, it didn’t look brand new but it definitely looked a little better. Padmé looked around, searching for an engineer she could replace. They all seemed to know each other, that complicated things. That didn’t stop Padmé for assaulting one of them and impersonating him. Padmé hid her mask on the strap of the belt and readjusted the hat on her head. It was far from perfect, but it would fool the troopers long enough. She used the access card to enter the  _ Millennium Falcon _ undetected. 

The inside of the ship was mostly empty, safe for a few boxes of weapons and a cleaning droid. Padmé went to the cockpit and checked everything. She wasn’t an expert in ships, but she knew enough to notice some of the parts had been changed and fixed better than Solo could have done hidden in the Echo Base. Padmé also hoped they had the hyperspace back, though she couldn’t check that with little knowledge she had in mechanics. Quickly, Padmé got out and sabotaged the restraints of the ship at its base, preparing it for a swift escape if it was needed. She concealed the trick as best as she could, avoiding the rest of the crew by looking busy the whole time. The boy ran back to her as she finished preparing the  _ Millennium Falcon _ . 

“The Empire has taken them! Mr Calrissian tried to stop them but… There was nothing he could do! Mr. Solo, they froze him in carbonite and gave him to bounty hunters! The rest, I don’t know…” 

Padmé cursed. “Is Calrissian still inside?” 

“Yes ma’am. He was really unhappy.” 

Vader altered the deal, she thought. Maybe Lando would take her offering more seriously. In that case then he was probably trying to save his skin. With hope, he was saving Leia’s too. Padmé rushed to the inside of the ship and checked the engines, then she turned the boxes upside down to find the biggest gun at her disposal. Ready for the fight, her mask back in place, Padmé fully opened the ramp of the  _ Millennium Falcon _ . Sure enough, Lando rushed outside of his palace, guns blazing and followed by an army of troopers. To Padmé’s disappointment the boy ran away scared by the fight, but she didn’t have time to run after him, just as she had little time to spare for the bounty hunters and the troopers. Her heart skipped a beat; Here she was, her daughter, unharmed and fighting alongside Calrissian. Chewbacca was there, too, along with a disassembled C3PO and… R2? What was  _ he  _ doing here? Padmé put the rocket launcher on her shoulder and shot the troopers, freeing a way for the runaways as soldiers flew in the air with screams. Leia jumped on the  _ Millennium Falcon _ and threw her arms around Padmé’s shoulders.

“It’s alright, Leia, I’m here!” Padmé cried under her mask, relieved. 

“Luke is still inside!” Leia replied in a hurry against her. “He’s fighting Darth Vader!” 

“ _ What _ ?!”

Lando closed the doors of the  _ Millennium Falcon _ , and he and Chewbacca went for the cockpit. “We have to move, we have to leave!” 

This was too much information for Padmé, she felt her head spin. What was Luke doing here, how did he– How?? But it wasn’t too late for him, she hoped, and Padmé rushed to the cockpit to demand that they turned around. Even if that meant facing Vader herself to save Luke, she was oh so ready to make this sacrifice.

“Turn around!” Leia suddenly screamed. “Turn around, I know where he is!” 

Lando turned on his seat with a strangled “What?” so Padmé almost sat on him to reach the control panel, and she turned the ship around. 

“Under the city!” Leia continued. Padmé followed her directions, her heart filled with hope. 

They flew under the city and, hearing the screams of the TIE-fighters, they looked for Luke everywhere. Leia found Luke first, pointing at the sky with a fierce command. Luke was barely holding onto an antenna, a few breaths away from falling into the emptiness of the gas planet. The  _ Millennium Falcon _ stopped under him and they got him back as fast as they could, their foes already in line of sight. Finally Luke was safe. Safe and alive and far from Vader’s reach. Padmé kneeled next to her son who was curled up in a ball, trying to make sense of his surroundings. He was hurt. The Falcon wasn’t stopping his chase, as blasts hit its shields with violence. Vader wasn’t done with them yet.

“R2, we need the hyperspace  _ now _ !” Padmé demanded, and the little droid didn’t make himself wait much longer. Under 3PO concerned comments, they flew far from Bespin and towards Sullust. 

“Luke, dear, talk to me,” Padmé softly asked.

“... Did you lie to us? Again?” Luke breathed, holding his injured arm away from Padmé’s care.

“... Can this wait?” she pleaded. “At least until we’re on rebel ground?” 

Luke didn’t say anything, instead he turned his head away, keeping his arm against him. He seemed to listen to something she couldn’t hear… Padmé didn’t try more, instead she let Leia care for her brother and left them alone, sitting in the cockpit with Lando and Chewbacca, and the remains of C3PO. They both didn’t dare ask anything, and the trip to the Sullust system was silent for the most part. 

Padmé shyly opened the door to the medbay, where Luke was resting and receiving his new hand. His gaze was focused on the droid’s work on his arm, and Padmé’s eyes followed with sadness. Never, during this war, was one of her children so badly injured. Until this moment. And this reminded Padmé of Anakin so much. Too much. Too much it hurt. Eventually she found the courage to enter the room. She walked slowly, non threateningly even, she knew she was on unconquered ground. Leia was there, too, and no doubt Luke had told her everything already. Padmé wasn’t sure how to react. When they looked at her, she saw how  _ angry  _ they were. Hurt, betrayed. Padmé braced herself, took her mask off as she sat on a bed facing Luke’s. The droid finished its work and left them alone, talking about cares on its way out.

“How is your…” Padmé’s mind went blank. “Well… Not your hand. Obviously. Your arm.” 

“Numb with the painkillers,” Luke simply answered, his eyes not leaving Padmé’s face for a second. This killed every attempt at a casual conversation. 

Padmé cleared her throat. She waited for her children to talk, waited for them to ask, to yell, to get angry at her. But they stood silent, facing her, looking at her. Waiting. After a moment Padmé straightened on the bed.

“Your father… was Anakin Skywalker. He was a Jedi of the Galactic Republic, and a good man. A hero. He was like a brother to Obi-Wan.” 

“Obi-Wan told me he was killed by Darth Vader, not that he  _ was  _ Vader,” Luke retorted. 

“Because in a sense, it is true,” Padmé replied softly. “What happened to Anakin, what happened for him to fall from the light and to the Dark, is difficult to explain.  _ I  _ can’t explain. But… But he died, that day. A part of him died when he decided to give in to the Dark Side.” She kept to herself how he tried to kill her, how he tried to kill Obi-Wan. She didn’t want her children to have this image of Anakin. She had for so long hoped that there was something left of her husband somewhere inside the mask of Vader. But him attacking Luke and trying to turn him in the Dark Side proved that maybe it was foolish to think so. 

“Darth Vader is  _ not  _ your father. He was. He had been. But I don’t know what’s left of him inside that carcass of metal. And remember that the Dark Side is seductive but far from sensible. Whatever excuse he might use to turn you against the Light, it’s probably lies and deception.” 

“But… But what if he’s saveable?” Luke suddenly asked. 

Padmé quailed, taken aback by the question. What could push Luke to wonder such a thing? Would Darth Vader be worthy of redemption in the eyes of the Force? “What do you mean?” She asked instead. 

“Maybe he can be brought back to the Light? With help?”

Leia stared silently at the exchange. Padmé sought support in her eyes, and she found none. 

“I… I–I don’t know,” Padmé eventually replied. “I am not the most well placed person to answer that. Maybe you should ask Master Yoda instead. He will know best.” Though she knew of the radical ideas of the Jedi, especially towards those who followed the Dark Side, maybe he would agree with Luke. If he was to agree with Luke, then Padmé… No, Padmé could not withstand too much hope and be disappointed again by the results. 

But Luke simply shrugged, his mood yet darker again, at the mention of his mentor. Padmé rose from the bed and walked to him, her hand squeezed his arm in a comforting way. She encouraged him to explain.

“I left so fast, and against his warning! I don’t know if he’ll accept to train me again, but I have only him! How else would I be able to learn the ways of the Jedi? And I-I-I lost the lightsaber! Mother, I ruined everything!”

Padmé looked up, from Luke to Leia. Leia simply nodded and, giving a last kiss to her brother, she left the room. Luke threw a questioning look to Padmé.

“Scoop over,” she simply said, “I want to sit next to you.” 

With an amused huff, Luke moved so Padmé could have a place closer to him. For a moment she looked at him, dared to stroke his cheek with the back of her hand. Her baby boy had grown so much, so much to look like his father.

“My son… I have dreaded this moment for so long… To see you face Darth Vader, it had haunted my nights, had left me sleepless so many times… But there’s nothing I can do to stop this. Any of this. One day, you will face him again. Now that he knows about you, about who you are, he will never stop.” 

“I can do it, mother. I can save him,” Luke insisted, “I c- If he’s really my father, I can’t k-”

“Enough,” Padmé demanded, strict but sweet with her voice. “The choice is not yours to make  _ right now _ . Go back to Dagobah, to Master Yoda. Finish your training. Things will arrive in time.”

After a moment of hesitation she took the crystals from her pocket, played with them as Luke watched them, mesmerized. Tentatively, he took one and weighed it in his hand. Padmé put the other back in safety.

“Is that…?” He asked.

“It’s a kyber crystal. The very heart of a lightsaber. With this, you will create yours. Your own lightsaber.”

The crystal still in his hand, Luke jumped from the bed, all injuries forgotten. He embraced his mother, and she hugged him back with strength. They walked together to the hangars already swarming with activities. Luke hugged Leia too when they joined her. The Falcon was nowhere in sight, gone in the hands of Chewbacca and Calrissian. The twins exchanged a few whispers between them, and Padmé left them some privacy. Hidden behind her blue mask, she hid her sadness to see Luke jump back into a starfighter and leave the Rebellion again. She knew he would be back stronger.

While Luke entered hyperspace, Padmé walked to her daughter. Both stood motionless in the activity of the hangar, untouched by the swarming and the electricity in the air. 

“Chewbacca and Calrissian?” Padmé asked.

“Gone to find a way to save Han,” Leia replied, her eyes locked ahead. Her voice trembled a little.

“So, you love him…” It wasn’t a question.

“I know.” 

They exchanged a glance, then looked back at the emptiness of space.

“Alright, let us save Han.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's get to the last chapter!


End file.
